Roselly's Randomness

It's done

2005-12-28T19:42:00.000-06:00

Finished.

I moved. Sorry y'all. I'm just tired of it here. This site will still be up for archives of course. But the comments will be turned off.

If y'all want my new site, please do send me an e-mail at i.want.your.books.now (at) gmail (dot) com, k? I will ask y'all to atleast put down your blogger name or the blogger website so I feel a bit better for giving out my new blog address. Thankee!!

It's just that time of the year I suppose, when you just feel change coming on to you and you are itching to get out of that old skin that you've had for so long.

~~Au'vuar...blah, how the fuck do you say it in french?!~~

Au Revoir

2005-12-28T09:44:00.000-06:00

I did something SO FUN but I'll get to that in a bit.

Yesterday after sleeping so peacefully in my own bed instead of an airmatress. My aunt and uncles both slept on two of the three air matresses mom and I had on hand. I got up early to take my uncle Paul to the airport. That's going to be the last time I'm gonna see him for 3 years. Oh well.

After I got back from dropping Paul off at the airport, the rest of us went out for breakfast/lunch. They all had breakfast, I had lunch due to having an early morning. While we were waiting to have our order taken, somehow the convo got turned towards me and my lactose intolerance. I had to explain why I couldn't have a real breakfast meal. Everything in breakfast involves milk and/or eggs. Any of those will make me SICK to the stomach. I can't stand having an upset stomach over food. Ugh.

I had to explain how it felt for me to be limited to certain diets now that I REALLY can't eat cheese on pizza or eat my favorite french toast with tons of maple syrup. I used to LOVE scrambled eggs and now it just makes me ill. Same with boiled eggs/hard eggs. Dammit. I hate it.

After eating and heading back to the apartment so aunt Irma and uncle Dan could re-pack everything and get ready to go to the airport, I sat in my room, reading, like usual. Finally I was restless, I needed to move around so I announced I was gonna go shopping at Target with my 75 dollar gift certificate from mom for Christmas. After some debate, I agreed to wait and go with everyone to the airport and then shop with mom afterwards.

Ay vey. The goal for shopping that day was to find me a wishbone charm necklace. It has a very important meaning to me and I don't want to explain it right now but I'll say one thing, I want one so I can remind myself of my wish that I wished for when pulling the wishbone after Thanksgiving. We never found one. Not the one I had in mind. Pooh.

But mom did come away with 3 single plate settings that she was wanting for some time and she sent her favorite Coach purse away to be refurbished. We checked out Victoria's Secret and I stupidly bought me 3 pairs of panties that cost 30 bucks and I knew I'd never wear them. It turned out that the gift card that I got on Christmas day through the dice fight was worth 25 bucks. (Later I told Andrew that we would go to MOA (Mall of America) and exchange them for a bra and panties, he could help me pick, hehe!)

By a stroke of luck, there was a Ben and Jerry's at the mall! YOW! Mom bought me a large cup of Strawberry-Kiwi Sorbet, MMMMM! My favorite. I was so happy to have it that I had a HUGE ice cream headache, YOW.

After we satisfied our shopping lust/desires for the moment, we headed back home. My duty as usual was to take some bags and stop to get the mail and then drop the load off in the kitchen. I got a surprise in the mail.

I got a letter from my dad, sort of. It did come in an envelope and included a card that reminded me of a 5 year old's birthday card along with a 300 dollar gift certificate to Target.

My reaction...

"Ohhhh...look at this card, humft....Hmm...I predict that this tiny envelope here is a gift certificate to Old Navy, like usual...*GASP!!* HOLY SHIT! What the hell?!!! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! LOOK AT THIS! GAH! HOLY CRAP!"

After an hour of getting used to having a 300 dollar gift certificate, I went grocery shopping and tried to find Andrew without getting him in trouble, but that didn't happen, shoot. Andrew had text messaged me earlier in the day to warn me that his boss would be working with him that day. Oh well.

After getting home...I realized, I wanted to shop MORE. So off I went to Target and spent a lovely hour and a half of shopping for clothes, shoes, belts, purses, scarves, cd's, dvd's, everything!!! I frigging LOVE Target!!

Here's what I got:

* A zip-up hoodie in heather/red.
* 4 different t-shirts (one says "Live Happily Forever and Ever" another says "MASH", my favorite show!)
* 2 pairs of jeans, flare of course.
* A pair of kakhi pants for work.
* 2 different colored thermal long-john shirts, bright yellow and dark red.
* An extra-long green scarf.
* A packet of white undies, low-rise bikini.
* A olive green car coat (which I'm gonna take back today, I need one size bigger)
* A black metal punk belt with studs on them, gonna take back today also, need one size bigger. Damn hips.
* A cool-ass green purse!
* A wide v-neck grey long sleeve shirt.
* A pair of silver pointy high heels that I've ALWAYS wanted, ohhh freaking yeah!
* Madagascar soundtrack
* O'Brother where art thou soundtrack
* Elton John's Greatest Hits from 1970's to 2002
* Pretty Woman Dvd (This was my FIRST R-rated movie that I ever watched when I was 8 years old, hehe!)

and I think that's it...oh wait, batteries of course and a pair of knee-high socks to go with my high heels!

the grand total?

$298.20 bucks baby!!

HAHA!! 25 items, WOO WOO!!

Now what am I gonna do with the other $76.80 bucks now eh? Nahhhh, don't tell me! I'm gonna hold on to it and maybe buy me a polaroid camera, woooo!

*snickers*

I love shopping!

What's left is my 75 dollar gift certificate to Urban Outfitters, 50 dollar gift certificate to Barnes and Noble, 30 dollars to be returned to Victoria's Secret and I'm good to go!

Ok...time to get ready and have lunch and then stop at Target before going to work, WHEEEE!

By the way...this might be one of my last posts here at this blog. I'm wanting to move. I'll keep y'all posted.

Hmmmm stretches and yawns

2005-12-27T07:25:00.000-06:00

Well...for the first time in about 2 weeks, I'm up by 6 AM.

My duty this early in the morning is to drive my uncle Paul to the airport in morning traffic. Yippeeeeee!! *with sarcasm, of course*

Other than that, I'm missing my honey. I don't call him that in person because I HATE...really HATE pet names.

"Sugar buns!!!"

*smack*

My parents together give me PLENTY of pet names and I'm SICK of it. They use it for when they want something from me. So come on people..."Lovey Dovey" is not a proper nickname. Perhaps for the bedroom but in PUBLIC?! Ughhhhh.

Thankfully the Honey hasn't called me any pet names yet and no worries I'll be telling him so pretty soon.

I do need to tell him to be a bit more gentle with me. I may have wanted to be a football player once upon a time but I'm NOT wearing that much padding!! (YES, I seriously wanted to be a football player. I love contact sports, the more violent it is, the more I love it. GOOOOOOOO HOCKEY and FOOTBALLLLLL!!!)

Oh...I do need to teach him how to kiss me without trying to swallow me whole! I am a small person compared to Andrew. I need to make him more aware of me other than my lips and my bottom, hehe! Other than all that, I do miss my Honey. I want to talk to him and just cuddle up with him and go to sleep. *sighs*

I'll get a chance on Friday, we're both off that day and we made plans to spend the day together, YAY!

Ok...wow...that is VERY sappy. I'm just trying to get back into the blogging mode but...eh.

Later.

My Christmas

2005-12-26T10:31:00.000-06:00

I didn't get a whole lot of stuff but I sure did have an alright time.

I got...

*A wonderful display of waterfalls from Dan along with a wonderful book called "The Erotic Poems" by Ovid, hehe! I had to hide that right away when I opened the present. I also got a mix CD of fabulous music varieties!

* From Andrew, I got a book called "Breaking Trail: A Climbing Life" written by Arlene Blum. Andrew sure got MAJOR points for getting me a book on my favorite subjects, mountaineering and backpacking. Plus, I've read so many different mountaineering/backpacking/hiking books that I was afraid he would have gotten me one I had read already but SURPRISE! Definitely a new one for me, YAY!

* From me to me, "The Chronicles of Narnia" by C.S. Lewis. ALL 7 books in one. Holy cow, this is SOMETHING! I don't normally read fantasy but this one just brought me in and I am absolutely LOVING it, LOVING IT!!!

* From my mom I got an ice scraper (how like my mother) that has a brush on the edge. Other than that I got 175 dollars worth of gift certificates to Barnes and Noble, Urban Outfitters and Target.

* From my grandma, p.j.'s that I will never wear. 10 bucks that will be spent today on groceries.

* From a game at our family christmas, a Victoria's Secret gift card. I still don't know how much is in the card but I intend to find out ASAP!

The game went like this...everyone puts a gift that is worth 20 bucks or more in a pile. One by one, we all get a gift and open them. After opening the gifts, everyone gets passed around a set of dices, if they add up to 7 or come up as doubles, you get to trade your gift with anyone else you want in the whole game. The dice rolling goes on for half an hour. I was fighting my Aunt Barb and my Aunt Irma for the Victoria's Secret gift card, hehe! Luckly I got it at the end, THANK YOU!!!!

Sadly through all this, I was just extremely bored, tired and...lonely. Believe it or not. I felt outsed. I ended up text messeaging back and forth with Andrew during the whole event. I was reading Narina through the whole event also. Sad. I eventually did play Cribbage and played pool downstairs with my uncles.

I noticed something that I wasn't quite expecting but knew it would happen. All but one of my male cousins are all FAT!! They all drink too much. Man! Jordan, my oldest cousin's husband, is lucky to have a high metabolism so he's rail thin with muscle of course! My cousins, Brett (a month older than me), Adam (two years younger than me), Gabe (step cousin and a year younger than me) and Jake (step cousin and about 4 years or more younger than me), all are fat. The older three drank the whole time they were at the thingy. Jake was just plump because his mom is plump. Humft.

I wish I hadn't gone but then again I wouldn't have gotten the VS gift card, hehe.

Ya know...Andrew sent me a wonderful text that I had to go to the bathroom and clean my face...

I had told him that I was upset that no one was really willing to talk to me or anything like that and his response:

"Bah! Some times that happens to me to. Just remember that there is someone who wants to be with you here. (ME)"

I am really adoring this man. Oh hell yes.

Then the next day came. Today.

I'm grumpy as hell. Yelled at my mom to get out of my room. I had just enough of people on my ass yesterday and I just wanted to be left alone. Just me and my books.

I'm also not happy that I have to give up my frigging bed so my mom can visit with Uncle Dan, Aunt Irma and Uncle Paul. F-ing no way.

I was even upset to even let my own mother use my digital camera. I flat out refused to let her use it. Told her to get her own. Fuck...scrooge.

I wanna know what YOU wanna know...

2005-12-24T15:45:00.000-06:00

I've been blogging for a lil over 6 months now. Not too shabby. Now I have a question for y'all...

What do you wanna know?

More specifically, do you have a question about ANYTHING I've written about in the past, any questions about me, what ever it is, ask away!!

I plan on keeping this up here for a while, for a week or so I suppose, and I will answer every question as bluntly honest as I can.

Ask away!!

P.S. I would do the same for you but except I don't know who all of y'all are!! HAHA! Well, I do know about 1/3rds of y'all...so seriously...ask away!

Answers to "I wanna know what YOU wanna know"

2005-12-24T15:00:00.000-06:00

****Will update as more questions come in! I love, FREAKING LOVE, questions. So give them to me, GIMME GIMME!!****

*clears throat and tries to appear adult like.*

Dan: Why do you think that we (you, I, and many of the rest of us) can feel free to open ourselves up to millions and millions of people who may come to our site, baring our souls and bodies in varying ways, when we are fairly shy as people in regular everyday life?

I think this is because we do not know the people that read our blogs, we have no worries of them perhaps knowing us in real life unless we let them. I find that if I KNOW someone in person and they are reading my blog, I become more restrained because they do NOT know me as this "free" person. More clearly, we are free to be whatever we want to be online through our blogs but it is harder for us all to do this in person. If we make a mistake online, we can just delete the post. In person, if we make a mistake, it's forever talked about. Does that make sense?

SheenV: So is it really all that cold in MN? (I'll try to think of better questions later.)

For some it can be really cold. One coming from Florida would find Minnesota a hostile environment all year long (mosquitos, high winds, below zero winters). To me, it's not that cold. Especially tonight (12/15, Thu), it's a balmy 24 degrees and I'm enjoying it with my jacket unzipped. It depends on one's tolerence to adapting to weather. So yeah...it is FRIGGING cold in Minnesota!

Mylion15: How is life going for you? what do you want to do in the next year? How is your Job? What are you doing for christmas? Do you celebrate christmas? What do you want in your life?

Hows life? I feel like my life is pretty satisfying at this point but then again it'll always improve to make it even more satisfying for me! Next year I want to still be working at Cub Foods, perhaps have a deep, intimate relationship with someone that I would call my boyfriend. I want to continue my college education and try all those classes I've always wanted to take (ceramics, photography, astronomy, environmental biology, etc...). I also hope to have a new car by next year too!! For Christmas I will be at my aunt Julie's house which will be a full house considering that our entire family will be there (aunts, uncles, cousins, partners, etc...). I LOVE Christmas when I know I'll be spending it with my mom's family, tons of card games (mainly cribbage), gift contests, etc...

Now the main question that I love...what do I want in my life? I want a man that I love just for who he is and he would love me just for who I am. I want books in my life and I want creativity in my life. Mainly, I want happiness and I already have that.

*posted 12/15, Thu, @ 10:00PM*

the_mrs: Ooh, this is hard! I could ask you anything because I don't know you at all!!

Ok, what is the most important physical quality you want in a man? Forget all that 'personality' and 'sense of humor' crap---how hot does he have to be? LOL

*SIDE NOTE: I think personality is very important....;)

HAHA!! HOW hot does he have to be eh?! Well...Naturally, I am VERY attracted to tall, strong, black men. Oh yeah baby! But really, the first thing I notice on a man other than his height is his lips. Are they wide? Plump? Thin? Covered with hair? Do they mumble? Does their voice boom? It's definitely the very first quality I look for. I don't think a relationship would work if I wasn't able to understand his voice and to be able to read his lips if the need arose.

Other than that, I notice ALOT of things but mostly I like a man that is physically healthy and very strong. For an example, yesterday (12/15, Thu) Don (who I work with at Cub and hell yeah, he's tall, strong and black!) came over and gave me this HUGE hug and lifted me up, kissed my neck. I turned into a babbling idiot. I couldn't say a damn thing right! Every time he touched me, all my thoughts scattered. He has such a gentle touch and yet...instant hard on, MMMM! I am such a whore, haha!!

Basically, lips are very important to me and, of course, strength, WOO WOO!!

*Posted 12/16, Fri @ 10:35 AM*

Befuddled: If you didn't live in the States which countries would you like to live in?

Hmmm...a few people know the answer to this one! IRELAND! WOO WOO!! Well, other than that, I would love to live in Scotland and Norway. Perhaps the Greek Islands also if I had the money. OO!! Tuscany! Owwww! I LOVE all of those places! What draws me to them probably is the close communities, green rolling hills, perhaps the sea too. Mainly just the people. I LOVE culture that is extremely friendly and very outgoing. I don't know much about France and the like around there because mostly what I know about them is from word of the mouth. I'd rather have read up on it and the like. I know about Norway and Scotland because I did a report on them in 4th grade, DORK! Ireland from a book and, since then, fell in love. Tuscany and the Greek Islands from two different movies, Under the Tuscan Sun and The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Ahhhh, love it! I did research all of those at one point. Dammit, now I want to pack all my stuff up into my car (which could be done in less than 2 hours) and leave!

*Posted 12/16, Fri. @ 12:30 PM*

M: Love the "have you ever seen the rain" eric!! too funny.....and MRS....I absolutely LOVE the abominal smowman from that rudolph show.......... "I want to be a dentist! ".....okay...sorry...I digress...... anywho....lets see...a question....is it easier to date people from the hearing abled world....or not? I would think ---not..... only becuause they are able to relate ....and may get less "frustrated" at times when rapid communication is needed >>>>. I dont know .......just typing out loud here....... M :)

Sometimes it is easy but not always for sure! Now days, I tell the person that I am interested in that I have an hearing impairment right away instead of delaying it. It saves the heartache in the long run. Plus I won't feel like I wasted my time. It is hard because some men arn't that accepting of someone with a disability. Although it BLOWS me away when a man that I've spent time with for a long time finally says to me, "You know what? You are the MOST beautiful and brave person I've ever met in my life. I would be ever so honored if you would date me." So...in conclusion, I guess I could say that it is hard but it is easy sometimes. All depends on the guy's outlook and view of me. P.S. Never needed to get "frustrated" when rapid communication was needed. HEHE! If the guy is patient enough, he'd repeat it how ever many times until I completely understand what he is saying or he would rephrase it. That gives MAJOR gold stars towards the guy if he did that.

*Posted 12/16, Fri. @ 8:37 PM*

Kalani: Why are you awake so early on a Saturday morning! Go back to freaking bed!

I wish I could...but I have to be at work by 7 AM and I take a LONG time to wake up. Joy joy!! Plus...I was up half of the night trying to sleep. Frigging weird. All excited about going to work today probably. I totally suck. I'm going out later today to see a movie with Andrew and have pizza afterwards, he's picking me up and paying for it all. So generous. But then I was thinking about Don. Mmmmm...fine piece of ass but ahhhh! The delima! Now of the two of them were ONE guy...I'd be thinking, "Holy crap...I want this guy SO much, FUCK who ever is his girlfriend! HE'S MINE!" Now...I'm NEVER like that in real life. I don't become bluntly forward and just grab the penis and say, "This is mine. Understand?" Although that'd be fucking cool to do! I'm up...cuz I couldn't sleep, plus my hair takes a frigging long time to dry when I don't use a blow dryer. Such a girl!

*posted 12/17, Sat. @ 5:00 AM

Dan: I got your Christmas present in the mail today... Yours will be heading out on Monday... I haven't had much time to do much of anything, but alas, I'm getting all the cards, envelopes and the like ready now (as well as the Christmas decorations and all of that good stuff - the tree comes tomorrow). So what I want to know is what do you really want for Christmas this year?

Dan...I really have NO idea what I want for Christmas. Each year, I always want something but I know I'll never get it, so I never ask it or even voice it. Simply? I want a boyfriend. Not just ANY boyfriend. I want a boyfriend who I genuinely want to spend time with and he wants to do the same. Ya know? I want a REAL working relationship. That's what I want for Christmas. That's been my TOP number one wish for the last...11 years. *sighs*

Dan: P.S. THANK YOU VERY VERY VERY MUCH!!

P.S> YOU ARE VERY VERY VERY WELCOME!!! I enjoyed shopping for you! And did you open it like I said you could or what?!

Mimi: What do you want to be when you grow up, ie career wise?

*sighs* Mimi, there are SO many things I want to be when I grow up. I wanted to be an environmentalist for the longest time ever when I was in High School. That didn't quite work out because there weren't very many schools out in North Carolina that would give me more scholorships or any type of aid that didn't involve a HUGE ass loan. Plus the programs weren't all that interesting to me. Nothing jumped out and made me say, "OH MY GOD! That's FRIGGING awesome!"

But lets be realistic here...what I really, REALLY, want to do is own a book store and run it on my own in another state. I've dreamed about this for SO many years. Probably eversince I knew I wouldn't be a librarian. I do love school but not that much to remain in school to get my masters in Library Science from Canada. Canada has the BEST library science degrees and schools for that type of career line. Plus...I tend to get frustrated when I feel like I am doing the same thing day after day. I need variety. I need room to expand and be hugely creative. I want to decide what to sell, I want to decide what the prices will be for certain homemade items that I want to decorate the store with.

It's not just an ordinary bookstore with books on the walls. I want it to be a SECOND HOME for my customers. I want couches that are old but comfortable and bright. I want scarred tables but they will gleam under the polish. I want so many things for that store. I want it SO bad. And I am gonna get it. My motto? "If you can dream it, you can do it!" That's what college is for me. I'm starting at community college so I can get my basic requirements out of the way and get some college experience so I can get more scholorships/grants from the U of MN for my english and business double majors. WHEEEE!!!

*Posted 12/18, Sun. @ 8:23 AM*

Heather B: What is your favorite color? I am not very original.

I have LOTS of favorite colors but one that never goes wrong with me has gotta be bold grass green. When I wear a green shirt, it turns my eyes into a shade of deeper green when I was born with blue eyes. YAY! I love blue...I love yellow...I love bold red. I mostly like bright bold colors. So ya could say I like the rainbows, hehe!

*Posted 12/18, Sun. @ 9:06 AM*

Kodijack: You get to write seven sentences to your dad that you know he will read. What are they?

Believe it or not, I actually wrote out 7 sentences to my dad as part of a Christmas gift:

"I love you even when you are far away.

I love you when you are working on the farm.

I know it is hard for you to be with me all the time. I understand that. I just want you to know that I am thankful that you are my dad. I would never replace you if I could. Thank you for being you."

Erik: I have it on good authority that I went to the Nighmare Before Christmas show, albeit alone, and you totally missed out on some hot Erik fun action!

"HOT Erik Fun Action"? Hmm...makes me wonder. Although my evening (the same evening when you had the show) was EVEN better than your show! *giggles* But I'm sure you did have alot of fun despite going alone.

*Posted 12/20, Tue. 10:07 AM*

Things I did yesterday

2005-12-24T06:28:00.000-06:00

* Took a walk with Andrew at a near by park.

* Talked about our beliefs and found more things that we have in common.

* Met my mom for dinner at a mongolian bbq, mmmm! Of course, Andrew came along. They seemed to get along ok.

* Mom said, "He's alright". Andrew said, "She's classy."

* Humft.

* Watched "O, Brother, Where Art Thou?" in Andrew's bed.

* He took things a lil too far.

* My clit is a bit sore. It's been a while for him, five years in fact.

* No, we didn't have sex. He touched me, that's all he did.

* Yes, a make-out session under the blankets while his brother Kyle was playing on the computer.

* We took things a lil too far. I'm unsure of what to do but I will be seeing him today at work.

* Tomorrow's Christmas!

Have a great Christmas everyone! I hope everyone gets to their families safely and sound. Perhaps there will be some exciting stories to tell!! YAY!

Tiny Update

2005-12-23T13:20:00.000-06:00

* Make-out sessions in the dairy freezer is a MUST!

* Hiking is coming up! YAYYYYY, SUN, SNOW, A MAN! What more can you ask for?!

5 Bad Habits

2005-12-23T12:42:00.000-06:00

I got tagged by Dan, YAY!!!!

And here we go...

1. I will nod my head, agreeing with you when I have absolutely NO clue what you have just said. Right after you finish talking, I will say one of the following, "OH! I totally spaced! What did you say?" or "Could ya repeat that?"

2. If I am frustrated with someone and they are not understanding what I am trying to say, I sign it. I sign it in american sign language and mutter under my breath. This really does not happen often but I just realized I had started doing that again this week at work. Lord help me!

3. I think potatoes are vegetables so I eat tons of potato chips!

4. I talk to myself in my car, in the bathroom, when I am alone anywhere, anytime! "Hey beautifulllllll! Looking good there! *smacks ass*"

5. I throw food away, even if it seems good to you but it seems "BAD" to me. PLUS...the food will STAY in my fridge as captive for a period of 3 months before being discovered and promptly thrown into the trash.

Some extras:

* I never make my bed, even if we have guests. Why bother when I'm gonna just mess it up again when I go to bed. Plus it looks EXACTLY the same day in and day out.

* I will rinse my dishes, wash them but I refuse to put them away.

* I buy fruits or veggies and never eat them.

* I write letters but don't mail them because I don't want to waste time going to the post office and I don't want to pay an extra dollar to get stamps from the ATM. *smacks head*

* I only wear the same three pairs of jeans each week eventhough I have 9 pairs of jeans all together.

DUH! I tag ANYONE who wants to do this. Probably no one because everyone's enjoying their Christmas vacation! Have fun y'all!!

Let the Gifting BEGIN!!!!

2005-12-22T08:52:00.000-06:00

After being gifted by Kalani, I was really moved. I wasn't expecting to be gifted at all! What am I talking about? Go see Osbasso and read this!

Like I said....let the gifting begin!

Kalani - You crazy biatch, haha! My gift to Kalani is ALL of the guys she mentioned in THIS post, WOOOOO!!! More specifically, an "All Blacks" front-row ticket with locker room passes and umm...a box of condoms, haha! OR...(I'm gonna do two things, k) I could grab Erik and compare which ever one of our cars will make it down to Chicago and spend some quality time with ya! YEAH! Kalani, you are probably one of the only HNT-ers that I want to meet the most. Other than silly Erik, hehe!

I already had given Dan a special gift so I can't gift him but if I could, I sooooooo would give him...an endless supply of "backrub" coupons to redeem at any time he likes!

Lastly would be ummmmm...Mimi. Oh Mimi dear! I wish I could give you a wand that would magically ease your worries, give you a little break now and then so you can relax and not be so stressed out with your family and your life. Instead I'll give you this for certain inspiration, haha!

That's that folks! Once again, have a GREAT Holiday! I'm gonna spend a little time with my sweetie and of course with my uncle Paul who will be spending the night tonight. Yike. Mom's gone nuts. Cleaning what doesn't need to be cleaned and I told her that I would clean the bathroom and give her my sheets to wash but nooooo...she's still freaking out. *sighs*

Keeping an eye out for the legs Dan!!

I'm sorry y'all!

2005-12-21T08:53:00.000-06:00

After I posted my last post, I realized that...it's gonna be a long while before I'm back here with delicious blogging or rants or any of that crap I do. I have a LONG week at work and I most likely might be going out with Andrew on Friday. My mom wants to go to a Christmas Eve thing at her church on Saturday but I refused. I don't enjoy that type of thing especially at a church I am not familiar with despite the fact that they do have sign language interpreters.

Fuck that.

Ugh.

But I'll be back.

Perhaps I'll leave small hints here and there so y'all know I'm ok and to remind me what I did that day, tee hee!!

Happy Holidays y'all!!

2005-12-21T08:49:00.000-06:00

There's so much I could say but for some reason I'd rather keep it to myself. For once I am telling all of you that I am ok and I have alot to say but I'm not going to. Does that make sense to y'all?

Since Andrew and I agreed to exchange gifts for Christmas, I had to go out and shop for a gift. I had something perfect in mind but turned out a while later that he already had it but he thought it was so sweet that I tried my hardest to find that CD! Good thing I got a gift reciept for the CD. Maybe I'll ask Andrew if he'd like to go with me to Barnes and Noble and pick out the CD that he originally wanted and exchange them. Then I'd re-wrap it when I got home? HEHE! Nah, probably not.

On Monday, just before I clocked out for work, I poped into the dairy freezer to say bye to Andrew. I was just standing there, looking through those plastic shaggy drape things that help keep the cool where it's supposed to be. He was on a machine that can lift up HUGE wooden pallets that have the products on it and so on. After about a few seconds, he realized I was standing there. Quickly put the pallet down and came up to me so fast and kissed the shit out of me! GAH! I couldn't help but grin the whole night, hehe!

Yesterday, Andrew came early to pick me up for King Kong but I did tell him the day before (Monday) that I wanted to talk to him about something. I told him that I had never really been in an official girlfriend/boyfriend relationship before. So it's a VERY new territory for me. I've always believed that what you have is a relationship when BOTH people want the same thing. Not when one wants something more specifically or if one wants something and the other is just going along because they think they should but they don't want to. I've been in both places way too often and I HATED it. I absolutely want this relationship with me and Andrew to REALLY work. I like him, ALOT.

He totally understood that part and agreed with me for my next part.

When I'm angry or if I have something to say, instead of keeping it to myself, I WILL tell you right away. So if I'm pissed that you slapped my ass in front of your parents, I will be dragging you to the bathroom to tell your ass off of how inappropriate that was! Not that he'd ever do that but that's the only example I could think of, hehe!

We both went to see King Kong with subtitles at a theater near by along with two of his good friends, Ian and Sean (who are brothers). OH! Ian was the one Andrew and I played pool with that one time a week or so ago. Ah man! It was FUNNY! The four of us were ALL alone in this entire movie which lasted around 3 hours long. There was a couple that was with us for a while but then they left for some perticular reason, oh well.

There were lots of parts where I was freaking out because there were HUGE bugs....EYYYYYIEEEE! I do not deal with bugs that I cannot squash because they are too big. *groans* I'd hide my face into Andrew's shoulder, he'd laugh and squeeze my hand. Towards the end when it was obvious that Kong was dying, I was crying...so hard. I used Andrew's sleeve of his short-sleeves and wiped my tears. He laughed at that too, hehe!

After the movie was over and my comment ("Why is it that everytime we go to a movie together, I end up bawling in your arms eh?" "Well...it got you in my arms, hehe!"), we all went to Arby's and yaked-n-yaked-n-chewed. Eventually Ian and Sean got dumped back at their place and I got dumped onto Andrew's bed. Nooooooo...nothing happened.

See...that's one of the special things about Andrew. He so could take advantage of me but since he respects me so much, he warned me on what can turn him on and make him just swoop me up and plop me into bed. So I'm aware and I like it. Alot.

We were just in bed, talking about his collection of fantasy books, video games, knives, etc... I will not say anything about his room, he deserves better from me regarding his room, for sure. We spent a LONG time talking about different subjects in sex. Ay. I couldn't think of anything but sex. Gah! Neither could he, hehe, but that's ok! I told him what sex positions I like, how often I masturbate, what my toys are, etc...

OH! Another thing he LOVES...Tattoos. Yup yup! He said that I have NO idea just how much he loves the fact that I love tattoos. He doesn't have any but he has a design in mind. The artists have always said, "Oh but it's gonna cost ya." Of course, it would. All custom designs do.

Ya know...when I talk to Andrew...I fumble. Bad. I leave parts out and I don't realize it until I reach the end of the story and I pratically ruined it, haha!! I do tell him that I realized I missed something.

I'm looking forward to tackling him at work tonight, hehe!

I know I could be more specific and crap with what happened the last two days but...I rather keep them to myself. This man may not seem perfect to you but oh he sure is to me!

*sniffles* I like him SO much. I am so gonna enjoy this relationship, for once!

2005-12-20T09:50:00.000-06:00

*GASP!*

Been kidnapped by a huge monkey! Will post when I can!

Opened my e-mail and there was....

2005-12-19T09:44:00.000-06:00

"Obscene Quickfiring"

HAHA!!! What the fuck eh?!

Uproariously!

2005-12-18T23:00:00.000-06:00

I SERIOUSLY could NOT stop laughing ALL day. I swear I'm gonna laugh myself to sleep!!! HAHA!!! I did NOT have any type of drugs. I am totally sober. I had Subway for dinner. TOTALLY CLEAN!

But why would I be laughing?

I'm happy!

HAHA!

But there have been moments when I could NOT stop laughing, I cried and I couldn't help a customer because I couldn't STOP!

A few of the topics:

*"Who would you pair up if they were not married/taken/etc...?" (ONLY the folks from the Bakery would understand this one!) After I suggested two people, we all fucking cracked up!! I was crying!! Oh my god! It was just absolutely HILARIOUS!!

*"Do you think Andrew is going to buy you a gift for Christmas?" My response, "I don't think so but we'll see!" And later on in the day in a text..."Well since we are dating, I think it would be a wise idea to get you something for Christmas. I still seem to have no idea of what you want, a hint would help. ;-)" I got this while I was watching "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" and I LAUGHED harder than I think I ever did in my life!! My mom had to stop the movie and watch me laugh and cry for 5 minutes!! I barely could write out the response without laughing even more! AHHHHAHAA!!!!

*I LOVED "The 40 Year-Old Virgin"!!!! FUCKING FUNNY AS FUCK!! But it didn't top the one above this one. Hell NO! Nothing can top that one! Oh my god!

*I was also laughing at work over something that one of my co-workers said to me that I could NOT work for quite some time because I was bent over, holding my stomach and my glasses, HAHAA!!

Overall, it was some day!!

I did see Andrew for a minute or two. He was taking his break and I was in the break room grabbing some pop. We really couldn't say much because the room was quite full of people taking their breaks at the same time. Oh well.

Damn...now I don't know what to get for him! It's not fair, he has the advantage. I told him that I want a book. He wanted me to be MORE specific...an adventure book. MORE! Ah! Hiking and mountaineering adventure. I pratically gave away my most wanted subject. Pooh! I think on Tuesday I am going to pick his brain and see what I could get him for Christmas. This will be the first time in my WHOLE life that I am getting a gift for someone that is NOT part of my family in any way for Christmas.

*DING*

*snickers*

Well...I do have a book that I bought for my Uncle and I don't think my uncle is gonna like it...

Perhaps but perhaps not?

I've NEVER shopped for a MAN that I REALLY like. GAH! He likes things I like which are crude, vulgar, and personal. He likes guns, knives, anime porn (giggles), drums...AH HA! I know what to get him!!! WOO WOOO!!! He really likes music, especially ones with drums. *clicks tongue*

I'll see him tomorrow at work, so I'll also have that chance to pick his brain a bit. Plus there's Tuesday, we're both off that day and we're making plans to see "King Kong" (whatever the fuck the movie is called!) and enjoy eachother's company. YAY!

Off to bed!

sighhhhhhh...floats

2005-12-17T22:50:00.000-06:00

I just got back from date night with Andrew.

*sighsssssss*

He took me to see Narina at one of the theaters that has captioning and held my hand when I cried. He did continue to hold my hand until the lights came on, soooo sweet! Afterwards, we hopped back into his car and headed out to Broadway Bar and Pizza which has a nice view of the Minneapolis skyline from the east bank of the Mississippi Rivahhhhhh. While we were waiting for our pizza, we just talked and talked and talked. We found SO many freaking things in common! It was SCARY! But VERY cool! I'll list them in a bit!

After having our fill of the pizza, we continued to talk. Our waitress kept trying to push the check onto us but we wern't ready to leave, we wanted to stay and talk! Eventually we left and sat in his car for an hour, talking more! But it was in his car that our relationship reached a turning point. We talked about what the difference is when you like some one and when you LIKE some one. After asking him the question, he leaned over and kissed me...open mouthed kiss. SHOCK!! I was so surprised that I almost didn't know how to kiss!

My answer to my own question? I LIKE Andrew, very much!

Here's what we found in common:

*We both like the exact SAME kind of porn, WOOOOO!!! LMAO! Anime and amature in case you were wondering! I absolutely DO NOT like professional porn. It so does not turn me on. It might give me a lil tingle or perhaps an idea of what I should be doing at that exact moment but nothing that would make me pant and drip.

*We both have not had very many sexual partners nor have we had very many boy/girlfriends.

*We both admire a main male figure in our life and they were in the army, they collect guns, they collect knives, etc... His is his best friend's dad. Mine is my own dad.

*Weirdly, we both want the same amount of kids, 3 or 4. And no...we didn't plan that one for both of us! Geez! NO wedding bells for a long time for me, OKKKK????

*We both have/had cars that were manufactured in 1989. Mine is a 1990 but it was made in 1989, frigging weird. No, not the same car. His WAS a Toyota Camry. Mine is a Plymouth Acclaim. His toyota died hence his new Scion, WOOOO!!

*We both have good temper management coming from a family that has a few people who have HIGH temper.

*Both have/had asthma. Andrew has asthma, but it's not that bad. I HAD asthma and now only get it when I get sick.

*We both like being alone and being ONE with nature.

*We both have FRIGGING huge families.

There are SO many similarities that it's SO cool!

The differences:

*He comes from a family that has 10 kids, including him. I am an only child.

*He's had TONS of broken bones, scars, etc... I never broke a bone, I only have (counts...) 6 scars.

*He's a true Minnesotan, never moved out of Minnesota. I was born in Minnesota but only lived here for a total of 17 years and I'm 23.

It goes on and on and on!

I'm SO glad I finally surprised him with something that I always tell people.

"I do read alot but what I read the most of is erotic novels."

His reaction? Silence and then he laughed and gave me a hug along with a kiss on the cheek saying that he liked the fact that I told him that. Liked it ALOT. Oh my god...I was just SO frigging OPEN! I didn't hold back a damn thing and spoke what was on my mind which mostly was horny sex. AHHHH!!

We talked about how many sex partners we've had, what kind of porn we like, how we respect our partners, etc...

Tonight definitely is going up on the chart as the TOP number one interesting night of my life! Ohhh frigging A! YEAHHHH!!!

LMAO, I am NEVER going to forget his face when I told him how I like my porn, never.

I'll see him tomorrow for a bit. I start work at 10 and will work till 6 PM. Andrew will be working at 8 till noon. He said he'd time his break to be around the time I'll come in to clock in for work. Sweet! Plus before he drove off, he said, "I'll try not to dream of you tonight." My response, "Aww! I'm hurt!" HAHA!! My god, I'm a slut!

And...update on Don. I am SO not going to do a thing to him. HELL no. I'm sorry but Don is gonna have to stop flirting with me. He confuses me when he does that. Is that touch for real or as a joke? Whaaa???? I hate that. Frigging hate confusion.

Perhaps that's why I like Andrew, I can talk to him for HOURS and listen to him for HOURS and I would come away knowing that I was CLEAR on my actions. Ya know? I know how to be shady but I haven't done that in a frigging long time though.

AH! Happy me! Lets see if I can sleep tonight!

Ohhhh Mimi?! Nooooo, I didn't swap spit with Don, silly girl! Just swapped body hair most likely. HAHA!!

****UPDATE: 12/18 @ 8:30 AM****

Ya know, I almost forgot one IMPORTANT thing that Andrew told me on our way back to my place to drop me off...

"I'm going to tell you why you are special to me."

"Oh? Hows that?"

"I broke a promise for you, a LONG standing promise. I promised myself that I would not date anyone from Cub because of all the drama that happens when EVERYONE finds out. But you are definitely special. Worth the risk."

It was too dark for him to see me blush but he definitely heard me gasp and felt me lean over to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you for risking it. I really want to see what happens in this relationship. I definitely feel special. Thank you!"

He held that promise for 5 YEARS! This MEANS alot to me. Shows me that I am VERY special to him and I think the same of him. *sighhhhhs*

I'm looking forward to work with even more eagerness than usual, tee hee!

Oh my GOD! Will someone SHUT me up please?!

2005-12-16T20:50:00.000-06:00

I cannot believe I frigging did this!

I was at work, talking to Don and all of a sudden...I tell him how long it has been since I had sex, "One year and 5 months!"

*bangs head*

I also had the nerve to ask him HOW long it was for him. Since he has a girlfriend, it's a few times a week although he wasn't quite exact on that.

ALSO...I asked him if he could show me a picture of his penis.

*bangs head*

What the FUCK is wrong with me?!

It escalated throughout the night, oh man!

It got to a point where he actually said to me, "I want to kiss you right here, right now!"

Shocked me, for once! I could NOT say a word but thank god one of our co-workers distracted him for a moment that I could breath again, ay!

*bangs head*

Ah fucking idiot. He has a girlfriend and I'm promoting this newfounded attraction. Ahhhh!!!!

*bangs head*

He even asked me just a while before I left where we could go and talk tomorrow when we're both at work without anyone bothering us. I pointed to the back hall way that goes between the bakery and the huge sub-zero freezers that can fit a semi truck in it. He immediately grabbed my hand and lead me back there. He gave me a HUGE hug and then was going to do something but someone interupted. A customer saw us and hollered for some help. Ah!!

*bangs head*

Roselle...you idiot! He's got a girlfriend!!

*bangs head*

I can smell him on me...*sighs*

I can feel his kiss on my neck from yesterday and his lick on my cheek from today. Fuck...I'm in big trouble. I told him that I like big tall strong black men...ohhhh yes! *growls*

I even went as far to tell him about one of my first crushes who was black and was my science partner in middle school. Although the crush ended when he wore a michael jackson glove to school one day. Don collapsed laughing so hard that Hannah had to come back and ask if he was ok!

Ah fuck me...I've turned into Kalani!!! (hope ya don't mind girl!! *winks*)

*claps hands!*

Ok...I have to go to bed and think about what the hell I am going to do about this. Shit. It's not gonna be good.

*Bangs head...last time I promise!*

Well...Wellll!!!!

2005-12-16T09:13:00.000-06:00

Foxy Brown is deaf.

HA. I knew this like MONTHS ago. About 2 months ago in fact. She showed up in "People" magazine and talked about her hearing loss. Yep...your hearing can disappear just like that due to high exposure to loud vibrating noises. WOO WOO!!

Hmm...perhaps my mother went to one too many "Chicago" concerts when she was pregnant with me? Humft.

I'd prefer that she had listened to Elton John back in the day. Oh well.

This got me thinking again though...

My deafness is a HUGE part of my life, believe it or not.

No one really recognizes it right away when they first meet me because I speak so well, thanks to many years of speech therapy. I take advantage of that unawareness and try to present myself as a "normal" person to them. It's starting to bother me now. Especially after I did that research report for english, which I will one day scan and post here after I find out my grade, I became more aware of myself as a deaf person. I am fully aware of my disability.

I want to say that I'm PROUD of it. But...I've hidden it so much in the past, I never vocally said, "I am deaf, deal with it." I let people hint or I'd correct them and say, "I'm NOT deaf, I'm just hard-of-hearing." What's the big deal?

As I'm tying this, I hear absolutely nothing. I know there is a humidifyer going in my mom's room but I don't hear it. I don't hear the laptop humming away. I don't hear the keyboard clacking away. I don't even hear my damn stomach growling, haha! To tell you the truth, I like being this way. Being unable to hear anything.

Although it's a different story when I step out the door of my apartment. I NEED to hear. It's absolutely mandatory to have my hearing on when I step out. I need to hear the fire alarm go off. I need to hear the cops pulling me over for speeding. I need to hear the announcements over the intercom calling for the bakery. I need to hear my mom's voice over the phone to let her know I got to work ok on a rough snowy day. I HAVE to be able to hear.

It sucks that I have to pick sides each day.

On rare days when I know I have absolutely nothing to do, no one to call, no where to go, no errands that need to be done. I will have my hearing off all day long and I LOVE the silence. I can just relax and not be on alert for every little sound, the refrigerator humming, the floors creeking, the downstairs folks playing their rock and roll music on HIGH.

Foxy's problem can easily be fixed. She might go ahead and get a cochlear implant or something else, I don't know what but I sure do need to look into that more.

I'm just angry that she is appearing meek and all weak in her newfounded deafness. All she cares about is her music. Well, Foxy...this is from me to you...

Accept yourself as you are. Accept the fact that there is a HIGH possibility that you could be deaf for the rest of your life. Accept that you might not be able to make music again. Perhaps you could write songs, compose things, etc... But WHY in the hell do you have to appear so weak? You knew it was happening for months before this! Your hearing would come and go. That was a MAJOR sign to see the doctor! I was born deaf, no one knew until I was a year and a half old that I didn't respond to my name being called.

These things may seem so small to you but to everyone else, it's a HUGE issue. It's a life changing issue. GET.IT.LOOKED.AT.ASAP! It does you no good to wait or to shrug it asside and say it won't come back or it's just temporary.

Yes, Foxy, I'm mad at you. You're a celebrity and I feel like you are using this "deafness" to your advantage to get more people to buy your albums, to get more recognition, to be more famous.

Bull shit.

This is a MAJOR "thing".

I have "it". I may have my issues with it but I try to work it out, more specifically, I try to accept it completely.

Well, christ, I didn't think it'd turn out to be that big of an issue to me but apparently it is.

I've never told my past boyfriends I was deaf until the day we were going to meet in person (I met all of them online, duhh). I was scared of not being accepted for who I am, so I tried to make them see me as a hearing person so they could compare my deaf side to my hearing side and find that there is no difference. Apparently there is.

I have limitations. I can talk on the phone but will I understand you? I barely can understand myself when I play back an audio post (hence why there are no more). If I know your voice in person, I'm more likely to understand you over the phone than a stranger. I can go to see a movie but it'll be a waste of your money. I need closed captioning or even open captioning to FULLY understand the movie. I should just rent a movie and watch it at home but I want to be able to experience the theaters, ya know? I can't just NEVER go because they NEVER show the movies I want to watch with captions. There are some theaters in Minnesota that select a few movies to show with captions and usually it's either the BIGGEST blockbuster (like Harry Potter) or the worst movie they could think of (like Chicken Little, which I thought was HILARIOUS!).

I don't have a choice. I could improve on my limitations with therapy. It's costly. It was free in the past because I was part of a training program or it was through school. I've done SO much therapy, especially for my hearing and I'll never be done. I'll never hear perfectly. Near-perfect, sure, but never perfectly. There'll always be that one small sound that I can't identify.

I don't think I've ever said, "WHY?! Why am I like this?" I've said, "How and who?" There's NO history of deafness in either of my parent's families. Except for my mom's side but it's her cousin, my second cousin that is deaf. My mom's dad's brother's son. Neither of his parents have a history of deafness. My dad wanted to blame something. My mom wanted to thank something.

My dad blamed "Agent Orange" from when he was in Vietnam. I have NO clue what that is but apparetnly it's some sort of...thing that was in the air in Vietnam. My mom...ha...it's hard to explain what she thinks of this. She's the one that took care of me all my life. She's the one that helped shape me to be who I am today. She's the one that made sure the school I was going to attend would have speech therapy and auditory training. She took me to Virginia because they had a better deaf culture there. She supported my decision to have a cochlear implant. She found a hospital in North Carolina that would hire her and would give me free auditory training and speech therapy.

She was the one that divorced my dad all those years ago on a disagreement over how to raise me. My dad wanted me to go to a deaf school and stay there till I graduated. My mom refused, she wanted me to learn cued speech and go to a mainstreamed school. My mom sacrificed more than I ever thought she would have done for me. She's my mom. She did her best for me, well, more than her best...she did ALL that she thought she could do for me.

I know who my mom thanks. She thanks God for bringing me into her life. I kinda understand that.

Ah, I'm sitting here, crying like a baby because this means so much to me to be ME!

I'm me!

Ah dammit, I love me.

I could go on and on and on but I'll save that for another day.

****Update @ 12:12 PM****

FUCK, I'm still pissed at Foxy Brown!

Double Trouble!

2005-12-15T00:00:00.000-06:00

I couldn't decide which one I liked best and, yes, that's a tit.

Go ahead and see Osbasso on the sidebar for more info about this fabulous day!!

I hate being idle

2005-12-14T21:00:00.000-06:00

It's so sudden, I'm no longer extremely busy. I have absolutely nothing to do. I hate having nothing to do. I am bored-tired.

All I did...

*go to the bank in 4 inches of fresh snow for a 10 dollar roll of quarters.
*did all of my laundry, done in 2 hours.
*fiddled around, trying different blogger templates that I made for myself and ones I found from other people.
*attempted to read three books and tossed them all aside until I unearthed one that I hadn't read in quite some time.
*made tacos for dinner.
*did the dishes.
*put the dishes away.
*looked at porn (anime and umm...toys).
*constantly checked my cell for new messages but only got one call from a telemarketer which I didn't answer.
*said fuck alot.
*growled at my mom when she giggled at me for saying crap when I broke a clothes pin that was used to hold my chip bag closed.

Fucking boring! I can't wait to go to work tomorrow! Plus I'll be stopping by at school to give my books back to the bookstore and place an order for all my books for next semester.

I'm gonna try and go to sleep y'all and I'm gonna leave my HNT pic right after this!

HOOOOOOLY FUCK!!

2005-12-14T11:40:00.000-06:00

Is it...HIM?!!! AH FUCK FUCK FUCK!!

He still has my cell number apparently and text messaged me. I deleted his number MONTHS ago and ohhhh fuck!!!!

At first, I didn't think it was him, I thought it was someone else I knew, Anthony, who's number I had also deleted. OH FUCK.

It wasn't until the 3rd or 4th text that I realized it could be HIM! AH FUCK FUCK FUCK!!

"Hey u how are ya?"

"Eh, not bad. Just relaxing @ home. Whats up?"

"Not much got off work at 7am im just relax'n in my NEW! Bed! Lol its compfy"

"Hehe! Yay for you!"

"So whats new"

"No school til Jan 10th so I'm relaxing as much as I can between work days, hehe. just slacking.

"Sounds good i could use a lill of that my self. Where u live'n now"

"Robbinsdale. Northern Minneapolis."

FUCK FUCK!!

I so did not realize until that very last text that it really is that BIG fucker. GAHHH!! I could have realized that by the second one because this fucker is the only one that I know that actually writes like that..."relax'n" ALWAYS.. with the effing "...'n".

GRRRRRRR...pissssssyyyyy. Fuckity fuck.

*GASP!*

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

"Cool. got a boy friend? :-)"

"Ah! sadly no. no time for that. gf for you?"

SHIT! What the hell am I supposed to do?!

I'm not being as "peppy" as I was back in the day when I saw him all the time. I don't monopolize his time, texing him when I knew he was off from work, asking to come over. Hell, I was needy as fuck. I wanted a man and he turned me on so I wanted him.

Shit.

A new bed and a house, a dog. What the fuck! Plus he has the kind of car I love, Volkswageon Jetta. MMMM!

GRRR...fuck.

FUCK!

***This most likely will be updated as the fuck day goes on***

***Update: 1:00PM***

Oh yeah...the fucker? Joe...go look him up. I aint got time for linking right now! See that search bar up there, just type in "Joe" and hit enter...tudah! Well SHIT! That didn't work! FINE...fuck. I'll link ALL of them just for the heck of it. Fuck.

Here

and fucking here

lurking at the bottom there

near the fucking bottom there

and finally HERE.

fuck.

WHY?!

Yes, why am I doing this instead of my fucking laundry?! I am MORE pissed off than I realized I am. So fucking excuse me!

Random shit that I want to say

2005-12-14T08:55:00.000-06:00

*It's snowing, woo....

*My mom has officially invited over her two youngest brothers, my uncles Dan and Paul along with Dan's wife, Irma to spend the night on the 26th so she could take them to the airport the next day. She's gone nuts...NUTS I tell you! Squeeling so much that I've started to think that she was a pig in past life (which would explain a few things, for sure). She's cleaned the whole damn house, even put away her files! (GASP! I always did the files for her and she's NEVER done them on her own in the past where she could find her items later on, ha...just wait and see..."ROSELLLLLLLLEEEEE!!! I can't find my (insert bill here)!!!!! Help meeeeee!" Ah...sweet victory!)

*Turns out that Paul will be SAFE up in northern Canada because the polar bears will be tranquilized before he studies them...HUGE relief here! And due to his van breaking down for good, he will have to fly all the way down to Minnesota from Alaska. Yep, he wanted to drive the whole freaking way! From Fairbanks (I think) to Edmonton Canada, down to a town near Missoula in Montana to visit a friend then ALL the way over to Ely Minnesota and down to Cannon Falls Minnesota (below the twin cities), FUN!!!!

*How can my mother possibly think that she can fit 5 frigging people in this apartment when we have one twin sized bed, one queen sized bed (mine, of course), two twin air matresses and one queen sized air mattress (again, mine). I kept telling mom to let the guests decide where they want to sleep because we have too many people and we're gonna want them to be comfortable. I predict that Paul will end up on the floor because he's pretty much used to that. Dan and Irma will insist on having my bed because they say so. My mom might try to force her bed upon Paul. HA! Paul is taller than my mom's bed, so I don't think that's happening. He most likely would get the queen air matress to accomodate his size. Well poo!! Air matress for me eh? If I was still friends/seeing Joe***, I would be in his bed for that night.

*I'm trying not to jump onto my phone and immediately text message a few people I know. They need a break from me. I'm super hyper. If they want to talk to me, they know where I am. Whispers to self, "Calmmmmmmm down, gee golly! Breathhhhhhhhhhh!"

*I have to do laundry today or ELSE! Fuck snow. Fuck quarters! I miss being able to do it whenever I liked.

*The guys (my former roommates) still have one of my elton john cd's and I want it back! GRRR!! Note to self, E-mail Tom and get it back, ASAP! (whines at self)

*Mom found my fitness handout that I got when I went to a fitness club that is across the highway from my apartment. I could easily walk there if it wasn't so damn icy or windy on Monday. I talked to someone there and they gave me a tour, showed me the prices and talked me up and down till they were blue in the face. I like it there, but really, can I afford it? I WOULD go if I was paying for it. That alone is all the motivation I need. Well...of course and the image of my body in the mirror every frigging morning. I do not like it. But anyway, mom found it and asked me what the hell I was thinking? We have a perfectly working fitness "room" on our complex. Hell no. It's been there and I have not used it more than 20 times the whole 6 months that I've been here!

*I will think more about personal fitness. I do not want mom working out with me, that's the thing right there. I love her but I am embarassed by her. Embarassed by her attention, embarassed about the way she looks. I do not want to become my mother when I grow up (as in physical appearance). I really want to do this fitness thingy. It'd be just 56 bucks a month for full and complete access to the gym! Indoor tennis courts, indoor pools, indoor track along with cardiovascular machines, weight machines, raquet courts, volley ball courses, a day care (not that I need it) and a store. With the membership, I get to get a half hour free massage, one free session with the personal trainers, that kind of thing. With my schedule for the spring, that would be FRIGGING awesome...I'd be able to workout more, work more, party more, haha!!

*Fuck laundry.

*I'm hungry. I have to shower first or I'll never shower today. Fuck showers. Can't a gal relax?

***There are TONS of enteries of Joe in my blog, so just search him. I'm not gonna waste my time and linkity link every thing I've written about him. Thankyaverymucha!

I should be a certified nut

2005-12-13T16:11:00.000-06:00

Now that I'm all done with my exams, I can totally relax and work on making up a new template customed by moi!!!!! I'm getting frigging SICK of what I see on my page everyday, I don't like what anyone else has made for me and I am CONSTANTLY changing my mind...it's a wonder that anyone even reads my blog.

On to other things...

I badly need to do laundry but I don't want to drive to the bank and get quarters, dummy me. I once used my mom's quarters and she RIPPED me up for doing that. Sooooo, no thank you.

Ya know, I found out something interesting today. If I ace my math exam, this will be the first time that I ever, EVER, got an A as a final grade in math! I always got either B+, B- or even a C+ but NEVER a frigging A in math! All but one of my tests ended up to be A's. One of them was an 83 but eh, the rest were 93 and 94's, WOOT WOOT!

Geology wasn't a problem at all, breezed through that one. Sociology was a DUMP like usual. Frigging-A, so glad that's done with.

OH!

Talk about random!

I was SO happy this morning on my way to school because of ONE thing. ONE stupid lil thing. My windshield wipers both squirt water on to my window to help keep it clean and all that shit, ya know? Well, one of the wipers wasn't squirting water but the other was and it was NOT squirting on the driver's side. So I had the bad side, pooh. Well...today, that changed! It frigging WORKED!!!! I cheered and said the following that made me LAUGH until I cried!!

"OH! OH!!! They FREAKING work!! OH MY GOD!! I see!! I CAN SEEEEEEE!!!!!!! OHHHH!!! It's a beautiful dayyyyyyy! Gol damn, now I need my sunglasses! BUT YAYYYYY!!!!"

HAHA!!!

I even caught the eye of another motorist, needless to say, they drove away quite quickly! I cannot imagine what thoughts passed through their mind when they saw me cheering and waving my arms like crazy!

HAHA!! Too good to pass on by!

2005-12-13T15:19:00.000-06:00

Just too funny! Stole this from Queen of Pink!

Am I REALLY that nice? Honestly?

I didn't think so! *winks*

Puzzlement

2005-12-13T08:56:00.000-06:00

I find that I am really enjoying spending my time with Andrew. He's not the most handsome man, nor is he the most ugly. He's just Andrew. He's fine as he is! Isn't that weird?

We've gone out together for a beer at Eagle's Nest in Robbinsdale. Played pool quite badly but had loads of fun! Lots of laughter, hehe! A week after that, Andrew came to pick me up along with a friend of his and we all went to play pool. Hilarious time ever! It would have been more fun if I remembered to NOT order a beer or to NOT take that damn pain medication loaded with caffeine. I'm caffeine by myself!

I find myself looking forward to seeing him at work somewhere, to hearing from him later in the week. I also find myself thinking about him, wondering what his family is like since he is part of a family that has a total of 10 kids including him. Yup yup.

Andrew and I spoke last week about the possibility of going to see a movie together. He is SO kind, I tell ya! He text messaged me on Sunday, I think, asking me where he could find a listing of movies that are closed captioned, he couldn't find it. Searching, I found one and text messaged it to him. He was so happy, haha!! I felt so touched that he was concerned about me enjoying a movie with him, ya know? Plus, I read outloud a part of a text to my mom in reference to a certain theater, "Plus I like that place a little more, comfy seats and you can put the armrests up."

My mom's response?

"OH MY GOD! My baby's going on a date!"

HAHA!!

I'm TRYING not to think about Andrew too much. I like him SO much and I don't want to fool myself into thinking that Andrew is something else other than who he really is, ya know?

Plus, I'm scared that I'm following a pattern, a bad one. I find someone I like, he likes me, I think about him too much, expect too much/little from him. BOOM, it doesn't work and I'm broken hearted. I want relationships to work VERY badly and it terrifies me that I'm following some sort of pattern that isn't good for me. See, my sociology teacher had us all do a chart once upon a time and my chart was based on my personality and it would show my dating pattern. Mania was one of the highest rated ones for me. It means I test the person I am with, I manipulate them into doing what I want them to do. I "stalk" them, wanting constant attention, etc...

I'm scared that it's true, I really don't want it to be!

I know that I have the power to make it true and to make it false. I can't help but feel a bit scared, ya know? Like I keep saying, I like Andrew, ALOT. I think it'd be awesome to date him. He's the kind of guy I can see myself getting along with for a very long time. I want this to work So much! Is that manipulative? or normal?

Fears suck. As long as you acknowledge them, they're not much but thoughts, right?

Why I did not post today...

2005-12-12T18:49:00.000-06:00

"Excuse me but I was busy...ya know, busy!"

I am so lazy

2005-12-11T22:20:00.000-06:00

All I did all day was lazy stupid things.

*Woke up and decided to not take a shower.
*Had breakfast while reading Geoffrey Chaucer's "The Canterbury Tales".
*Worked on my math exam study guide for 3 hours.
*Worked on the start of my geology study guide for an hour.
*Made pasta for lunch.
*Fell asleep in front of the laptop for 3 hours and dreamed of weird things that I don't remember at this moment.
*Woke up and went out with mom to get "Star Wars: Return of the Jedi".
*Got subway on the way home, montery cheddar bread with chicken and spinich, MMMMM!!!
*Watched "Star Wars: Return of the Jedi" and gasped when I found out who the sister was and cried when Darth Vadar/Anakin died.
*Watched "Grey's Anatomy" with mom.

All through all this, I emptied out almost half a box of tissues (with lotion, thank god!) and was returning text messages to Andrew for a movie later in the week.

And now...I am off to bed! No early day for me tomorrow. It'll be a full day of studying, perhaps I'll be able to take my math exam on Tuesday after I finish my Sociology exam, hmmmm. We'll see.

So many that could have been mine

2005-12-11T07:43:00.000-06:00

"Dear Daddy,..."

(Credit for pictures, PostSecret.)

I never know my secrets until I reveal it.

When I say I "don't have any secrets", I really do not remember/know of any.

What are your secrets?

sniffles

2005-12-10T22:17:00.000-06:00

That's ALL I did all day. No, I'm not allergic to anything but milk and I don't inhale milk.

It's gotten so bad that I've started to buy Puff's lotion tissues in bulk!! Gone through so many that it's becoming embarassing.

Nite folks!

4 frigging 30 in the morning?!

2005-12-10T05:11:00.000-06:00

Yep folks, I'm up early because I'm due to work at 6 AM...I kid you not. It's been a LONG time since I've had to do that. This will explain why I am not around today. I assume I'll be crashing into bed once I get home from work around 2 PM.

I leave you with this...

2005-12-09T14:52:00.000-06:00

As I was eating a donut, an old fashioned glazed donut, I was reminded of a conversation I had last week with Hannah. I don't quite remember HOW we got to the conversation but the interesting bits:

"There was a guy who would call like about once every 3 months, he talked to me, he talked to Helen, he talked to Alison. The question was the same every time he called. 'How big is the hole in the donut?' We really have NO clue how big the hole is in a donut. The he'd say, 'Well, I'm gonna be honest with you. I want to put those donuts *Hannah points down below* for my girlfriend, as a joke!' Is that NOT gross?!!!"

My reaction?

I KNEW the punchline LONG before she said it, Oh my god. I laughed my DAMN ass off at work! HILARIOUS!

My response:

"NOW that's another way to eat a donut and give a blow job at the same time, HAHA!!!!"

My god, I'm such a prude!

THEN...I showed her something EVEN more crude...

I showed her that gesture and she had absolutely NO clue what that meant. She's 27 and she listens to ALOT of rap, HOW can she not know this one?!

It means, "Two in the pink, One in the stink."

Her reaction?

"OHMYGOD!!!! OHMYGODDDD!! That's WHAT that is?!!! OH MY GOD!!!"

My reaction?

I was DYING!!! I was laughing SO hard! I had tears and I barely could help my next customer because I was bent over trying to stop laughing, oh man! That was one good time!

*snickers* I LOVE being me! HAHA!!

Oh hum.

2005-12-09T13:58:00.000-06:00

Well...I made it to school without falling asleep at the wheel. Yippee.

Or...

"Woopie fucking DO!"

I don't remember who said that but hell, everyone says that don't they?

Today was the LAST day of official classes. So...it's over. Well, almost. I do have those pesky exams next week, not a problem. I'll study those this weekend. My exam schedule should go as the following... Math on Monday, Sociology on Tuesday, Geology on Wednesday. Ah, the joy of picking the day for my Math and Geology exam, yay! Well...kinda. I asked if I could take my Geology exam early and I'm allowed to take my Math exam any time.

Well fuck...I am tired, VERY tired. I don't know whether to take a nap or shovel my room out of these contagious mounds of used tissues. Gross. I need to find my ID for work, ASAP. It's white and it has my name on it with, "How may I help you today?!" on it.

*sighs*

I'm not helping by sitting here and blogging about it.

HOW can anyone read my own blog? I whine, I complain, I rarely seem to celebrate anything. I'm fucking depressing.

*AaaaaaCACHOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!*

Great...now you can be sick with me.

****UPDATE: 3:10PM****

Found the damn ID! Apparently it was in a small paper shopping bag on my doorknob, WHAT a dummy! Oh well, atleast my room is half clean and I found my Canterbury Tales book! YAY! I'm such a geek. Yep.

*pushes glasses up nose and winkles nose*

Ah Fuck, I'll be glad when this is over!

2005-12-09T06:23:00.000-06:00

I stayed up till almost 11 last night to finish up my Geology term paper and spruce it up.

Never, EVER do I want to do that again. I am barely awake eventhough I had a shower. It sucks feeling sick and struggling to keep your eyes open as you type. arrrrr...

*closes eyes and rests for a bit while typing*

Last night, before I went to work, I signed up for my night classes. So I will be taking just three classes each week only on Tuesday and Thursdays between 2 and 8. Fabulous! Today before I head home, I'm gonna stop by work to talk to Teri about my hours for the spring semester.

Seriously, I'm gonna be glad when all this shit is done with. I forgot to do so many things like make my bed, clean up after myself...basically the cleaning up part. I even lost my work ID. I can't friggging find it and usually I can! GRRRRR.

Last day of official classes folks! It's SOMETHING to celebrateeeeeeeeee! OO, reminder to self: GET PIZZA SAUCE SILLY! It'll be "No-Cheese-But-With-Tons-Of-Pepperoni" pizza, WOOT! My secret fetish with pizza is, I like to dip the pepperoni into the sauce and just eat it like that before its cooked. *giggles*

Ok...lets hope I don't crash on my way to school...seriously, I'm looking forward to next semester.

Oh yeah! the classes I'm taking next semester areeeeee

*Art History: Modern world.
*Minnesota Natural History with Field Biology (with a lab)
*Advanced Algebra (the FRIGGING last algebra class I have to take before getting into pre-calculus. All together it's taken me about...6 frigging years, including high school, college to get to pre-calculus. Ugh.).

Buh bye!!

Excuse me while I scream for joy!

2005-12-08T06:29:00.000-06:00

*SQUEALS!!!!*

OH my god, it's FINALLLLLLLLY here!

What? Yes! IT'S HERE!!!!

FUCK YES!

Verizon Wireless is NOW offering Motorola Razr online ONLY! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!

YES YES YES YES!

AR AR!!

OMG OMG OMG!

I'm calling my mom later today to inform her, MUHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!

*browses the site*

$419.99?!!!!!!

HOLY FUCK! You've GOTTA be kidding me, right?!

Wow...what a way to deflate my joy. *sighs*

Uhh...which one is this?

2005-12-07T21:29:00.000-06:00

Either way, I'm back, but not fully back, k? I PROMISE to do better in the following weeks to come!

Since I don't have a fully or even a HALF-nekkid picture of me right now, I'm gonna take a page from Dan's book!

Here's me giving a poor tree some lovin'!

I think this was taken at the most 2 months ago by my mom. The shiny stuff on top of the picture is the rays of the sun on the lenses which is from a disposable camera. Well...who woulda thunk it? Those cameras scratch easily!

While I was looking for the tree hugging picture somewhere in my scanned photo files, I found another one! HAHA! Not a tree hugging one but close enough!

Taken the DAY AFTER Thanksgiving at Target, WOO WOO!! To the left is Steph C and there's me! Her dad is a Star Wars frantic, so we took this picture for him, haha!!

Alrightie, move on folks...no nakedness to see here!! SHooo SHooooo!!!

Otherwise...Happy Day!

~~Oh my god, I have the most incredible urge to RIP that last picture off so look while it's there cuz by mid day, it's coming DOWN!! DOWN BITCH!!!~~

More 25 things about me! (and some of course!)

2005-12-07T19:52:00.000-06:00

*I believe we left off at 30, am I right?*

31. When I break a nail, I clap with glee!

32. I automatically will say, "I am drunk" when I've only had a sip of my beer. Yup yup...and I will say following that, "Me Cheap Date!"

33. When I get home from school, I pile all my things on to my bed and they multiply!!!

34. But of course, when I go to bed, they all end up on the floor and then BACK on the bed when I leave for school the next day. It's good exercise, I swear!

35. I once wanted to be a stripper when I was in high school...but then I didn't want to be called a whore at family gatherings.

36. I used to bug people ALL the time, asking if they knew the following, "DID YA KNOW THAT MY NAME STARTS WITH R AND MY LAST NAME STARTS WITH S?!! OMFG!!!" I was a certified nut in elementry school.

37. I liked to sit in my closet and read a book with a flashlight or with the door open, depending on my mood. Either it was cleaner in my closet or it was WARMER!

38. I wanted to build a HUGE walk in closet just for my books, 10 foot high ceiling clearance and place a huge couch at the end of the closet, woot woot!!! I still want that though, haha!

39. I bought a little fake tree 4 years ago and it's name is... "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree!!!!!!" HAHA!!

40. I find this whole thing very nutty and VERY fun!

41. My mom's family was raised on bowling but only my oldest uncle is a serious bowler and he's won 3 straight 300 point games....whatever the hell that means!

42. By now, I'm sure you understand that I have no idea how the score is added up. I just bowl to hit the crap out of those balls and laugh at other people's techniques, haha!

43. I prefer to golf. Now that one, I know how to tally!

44. Otherwise, pool is my game...sorta. Well...ya get it.

45. Someone once called me a whore and a bitch in the same day for seperate occasions. *sigh*

46. That one was because I told him I had sex with someone I met online. That's where the whore part came in.

47. The bitch one was when I told him that next time I saw him I was gonna kick him in the balls for calling me whore.

48. I never kicked him in the balls but...I fondled them. *blushes*

49. Size does not matter...it's what you do with it! *winks*

50. I prefer to NOT hear anything during sex, it heightens my pleasure. I don't do sex with confusion, thank you!

51. My last boyfriend/partner/fuck, whoever he was, told me later on that he prefered to have me hear him but didn't want me to keep repeating, "HUH?! What did you say? Oh! What's wrong?!"

52. Definitely NO hearing during sex!

53. It's been exactly one year, 4 months and 3 weeks, give or take a few days.

54. I don't care about sex that much, I just enjoy it when it happens, which obviously isn't very often.

55. I don't understand one night stands.

56. My mom does not know that her little girl is no longer pure white.

57. As of right now, there is only one person I want to have sex with this very exact moment...THIS guy.

58. I no longer have his cell number. I deleted it in July. *sighs*

59. I LOVE hearing about people's sex lives, especially through Blogger. THANK YOU BLOGGER!!!

60. I sometimes prefer to become turned on by flipping through lesbian graphic novels...mmmmm!

61. I once did a "money-shot" picture. Never will do so again.

62. Gotta respect myself!

63. I have a geology paper due on friday and I'm NOT even half way through, thank you for being here blogger!

OH fucktard!

2005-12-07T14:05:00.000-06:00

Atleast I drove my mom's car to school today.

My car refused to start at all when I went out to take it to drive it down to the mechanics for the oil change and engine check up appointment. No sound at all when I started it up, the lights worked fine though, so I am thankful it's not the battery. Yet...it freaks me out because my car hasn't done this before, for sure.

I'm so used to it's tempermental-ness, my mother and I both have pratically paid for almost EVERY frigging part on the car, so it should be something MINOR I hope or it's completely dead. The dead part is something that I would not be able to handle very well at all.

I'm tearing up at the thought of my car being dead, forever. I'm definitely going to breakdown when they give me their diagnosis.

I called my mom when I was in the car, trying to start it up and she called the mechanics to let them know that I would either be walking down there to tell them what happened OR someone would be towing the car down there. Since I caught a head cold, the latter is the only one happening at this point. So I'm waiting to hear back from mom to see what's going to happen next.

Meanwhile...

OOOO Scions, mmmm! Or ~~Volkswagon~~ Volkswagen? Hmmm...Ford Escapes? Hmmm...Saab? Bah, I have expensive taste.

****UPDATE 4:11 PM****

Apparently it was the battery. We changed that and the oil so we'll see how that goes afterwards.

Ya know, this got me thinking. Maybe I should start taking night classes and work during the day at Cub because they need someone to work DURING the day, that's what I was hired for at the first place. Plus, I'd be able to work MORE, ya know? First, I have to ask Priscilla (my transcriptionist) and see if she'd be able to do that before I do any major changes. I also have to check with Teri (my schedule maker/"so-called" supervisor) to see if it's ok to put me back on days instead of evenings.

Plus by doing this, this would give me more of a chance to make more money to pay off my bills, especially my credit card and I could get me a VW Beetle this summer. MMMM! Just an idea!

We'll see.

Funny is hot

2005-12-07T13:39:00.000-06:00

I have to agree!

it's the ACTION, not a person or a word.

Pool Night!!

2005-12-06T21:55:00.000-06:00

I just got back from playing pool with Andrew and one of his good friends who wanted to come along. FUNNIEST TIME EVER!!

They probably didn't know it why but all they knew was I was laughing like crazy. If one of the guys would stand in front of the pocket that I was aiming for while covering their balls, I would LAUGH AND LAUGH! For some bizzare reason, I found that absolutely hilarious and could not shoot properly because of that! HEHE!

I had text messaged Andrew earlier in the day to tell him that I didn't think I'd be able to drive my car at all today and tomorrow until I get it looked at. Gracefully, he offered to pick me up and take me along with him to play pool. So sweet of him, plus he asked me in advance if he it was alright that his friend (who's name escapes me) could come along. Just very sweet of him!

Amazingly, they found me ok!!

Anyway...someone better remind me to NOT take pain medication laced with caffeine and then drink half a bottle of beer after that. GAHHHHHH. I totally forgot I took medication for my cramps (first day of da flow). Shows just how funny they are! Andrew and his friend both have known eachother pretty much since Kindergarten. Makes me jealous because I haven't known anyone that long and it does make me sad to realize that.

Oh well!!

Off to bed...gotta wake up early to take mom to work and use her car to take me to school. Doesn't this suck?

Night folks!

*** EDIT *** (done the morning after)

I forgot to mention last night but Andrew offered to give me a ride to work if I ever needed it and I thought that was absolutely adorable!! I hope to take him up for the offer.

25 Random Things About Me (and some!)

2005-12-06T15:22:00.000-06:00

1. I never can make up my mind quickly, I like having time to think it over because to me, any decision is major, even if it's just for a pair of sheets.

2. I haven't seen my dad since February 2005.

3. The longest time I've gone without seeing my dad was 1 year.

4. I don't really think of him as my father. Just a man my mom was married to eventhough I call him daddy.

5. I like to call myself organized but my mother calls me disorganized. I didn't know there was a difference! *winks*

6. I own 9 pairs of jeans, one pair of shorts, a jean mini-skirt, one pair of light blue kakhi pants and one pair of corduroy white pants for work. Out of all these, I only wear 3 pairs of jeans a week and it's always the same 3 pairs each week.

7. I have 20 different types of t-shirts, 11 different types of long sleeve shirts and only wear 5 of each a week.

8. I don't wear some of them because they are ~~a tiny bit tight~~ my skinny clothes.

9. I have two pairs of bikinis but I would never EVER wear them again. Bad memories.

10. I want to mow a lawn right now.

11. I once wanted to be a florist. (turned out to be a seasonal thing)

12. I made a floor plan for a barn/house I wanted to build for myself one day when I was 17 years-old. I still have it and I still want it.

13. Although, I want an underground house with a tower for my books, WOOT!

14. I don't think I dream big enough because I think that when I dream too big, it is when I feel like it's impossible for the dream to happen in reality. (So far, no dream has been too big for me! *winks*)

15. I'm known to read and completely finish 3 books in one sitting, especially when I have nothing to do all day.

16. I miss those book reading days.

17. I hate sleeping with someone in my bed. If you jostle me in my sleep, I will kick you out of my bed.

18. I don't mind sleeping in someone elses' bed. *blush*

19. I have a sewing machine but I haven't touched it for 2 years.

20. I liked to make my own purses. Sadly I only got as far as designing it, getting the materials but couldn't cut the fabric and sew it. Fear of ruining such beautiful fabric.

21. I was jealous when one of my older cousins from my dad's family went backpacking in Tibet for a whole year two years ago. He got to climb Mt. Everest to the base camp.

22. I want to see Mt. Everest in person and perhaps K2 if it's possible.

23. I like to travel alone so I can absorb more of the surroundings.

24. I don't like celebrating my birthday due to a bad birthday party a few years ago.

25. I LOVE surprises!!

26. My mother doesn't know this, but it's cheaper to get a one-way ticket to Ireland than to get a round trip ticket, 3-times cheaper!!

27. I've dreamed of packing up my little posessions and just drive away.

28. I used to pour over state maps all day long, closing my eyes and picking a spot at random. I would write down the town and promise myself to visit there someday. This was at age 12. Golly!

29. I want to collect antique suitcases and trunks.

30. I sometimes communicate to myself with sign language in the mirror in the bathroom.

Update of the day

2005-12-06T13:30:00.000-06:00

Ah well...I accidently fell asleep while doing my homework earlier after the first post. Slept beautifuly for about half an hour. Personally, I hate naps. They disorientate me big time. But for once, this one was quite refreshing!

After puttering around the house, doing some homework which the computer prompted to eat HALF of it, and had some lunch, I had to get out. The car started up rough again, of course. As I was sitting in there, waiting for it to warm up a bit before I forced it to drive....it was shuddering so much that I was being shaken, ya know? Weirdly, after that, it settled down and started purring like a cat, with a cough of course.

Headed out to work to get my schedule for next week, got some food (cereal and pepperoni, mmmm!) then finally did the big thing I meant to do at the very beginning...went to the mechanics to make an appointment for tomorrow.

I'm getting an oil change and they'll look at the engine during that. Oh dammit, I forgot to tell them that I want them to look at my windshield ~~whiper~~ *ahem* wiper. One of them keeps getting clogged up with windshield ~~whiper~~ wiper fluid. There's a tiny hose that goes up to the attatchment of the blade to the wiper and squirts right onto the window. Well, something in that hose is stuck and it won't squirt my driver's side window clean. Just the passenger side. Ohhhh, if only I was in Ireland, I'd have no problem, ya know? *winks*

While I was at the mechanics, my mom called me. It was funny, seriously!

"Hmm...something's buzzing in here! Buzz, ya buzzing?"

HAHAA!! It was my cell going off. My mom called to see what was wrong with my car. She FINALLY got my message that I left on her cell earlier this morning.

Other than that, I'm dandy. No cheese in the house but I sure got alot of pepperoni and cereal! MMMM! Sure got homework, but eh, I'll be fine.

Oh yeah...~~shuddup Roselle!~~

Well FUCK!

2005-12-06T07:01:00.000-06:00

Usually by this time of the day, I'm sitting in my car, shivering my ass off while driving myself to school.

That didn't happen today. I got all dressed, packed my bag up, grabbed my water bottle on my way out the door. Double checking to make sure I had everything I needed and locked the door. Ran down the stairs and proceeded to start my car.

It started VERY rough...

*brrrrrrrruumm BRUM BRUUUUUUUMMMMMM...rawrrrrrrrrr..rrrrrrrr*

Sure doesn't sound like that all the time...usually I just get the *rawrrrrrrr* part. *sighs* Plus the "Check Engine" light came on and stayed on the whole time while I scraped the windows. When I put it in reverse while having my foot on the brakes...it did that jerking motion, which it pretty much does each time I start my car and get going. I really don't trust my car, so I opted not to drive it down to school and back while the light was on like that.

I called my mom and left her a message to let her know that I'm gonna take the car in today to get it looked at. It has been using alot of gas lately but I knew it was because I need an oil change.

I'm NOT happy about this but hell, it'll be ok. I can just stay home and work on my assignments and study for my math exam that I want to take ASAP this week.

Lets hope they can look at my car this morning, oh lets hope!!

In other news, after going to bed super early last night, I'm sure feeling better this morning. Lesson learned. No cheese/milk/etc... AT ALL. Oh! And somebody remind me to NOT buy "Hot and Spicy" pepperoni, K? I had to throw my pizza away, it was WAY too spicy. And hey, it was pizza WITHOUT cheese! It's suberrrr good...just needs to be LESS hot though!

Overall...all this sucks. I can't wait till school's done! This is my final week of classes and next week, I have two exams. One on Tuesday (Sociology) and one on Friday (Geology). I'm taking my math early this week and my english is a take home exam that I am going to work on today and turn in on Friday.

G'day y'all...hope it's better than mine!

I'm in pain.

2005-12-05T15:01:00.000-06:00

I don't mind being tattooed, I actually enjoy it.

I survived after a cochlear implant surgery because I couldn't hold down the medication my doctors perscribed me.

I can handle pain.

But why can't I handle this god-damn stomach ache?

It hurts to sit, it hurts to lie on my back, it hurts even more to be ON my stomach. It doesn't hurt too bad to stand but after a while I'm in pain again.

Fuck. I hate this, I really do.

I can't tell my mother because she's sitting with her meditator in the kitchen, discussing god and the like. I'm too polite to just burst in and kick this lady out so I can talk to my mom and tell her that I'm hurting.

I tried to stay busy, to take my mind off the pain. Did all my laundry and some, attempted to do my homework but that didn't work. I hate it. I don't like taking pain pills and when I DO have to, I take Aleve. Aleve is not anywhere in the house. My mom bought some the other day and now she can't find it anywhere. Ugh.

I want to lie back and cry but I refuse to let myself do that, especially when my mother is home.

Lets hope it passes soon.

It was that damn lasagna. Just a small amount of cheese. Usually that doesn't set me off but it did. Holy hell, it really did. Fuck, why can't I learn?!

I just want to sit down and cry.

2005-12-05T13:17:00.000-06:00

My "problems" seem so much smaller than theirs. I'm proud of them and I want to send something but I don't know what to say. I constantly browse the site. I always find someone that touches me and I want to say something, do something, send something but I don't. I'm either too busy, too poor or too emotionally involved in something else.

My goal this month is to send something, ASAP.

about F-ING time!

2005-12-04T22:36:00.000-06:00

A long time coming but about fucking time!

2005-12-04T19:53:00.000-06:00

It's DONE!

HECHO!

GEDAAN!!!!

FAIT!!!!

GETAN!

FATTO!!!!

FIETO!!!

"I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

Ah fuck, what is wrong with me?!

2005-12-01T20:58:00.000-06:00

I made myself feel even worst...not good.

I fucking had pizza.

Yuuuuuup.

Major indigestion-ville. *groans*

I feel like crap, I look like crap (pale and shit), I am not good company.

But in good news...

Andrew came over to talk to me today before he went home. He was checking to make sure that I had a good time on Tuesday night and I sure did! He wants me to hang out with him again soon. This time, he's going to bring a few friends of his and we'll all hang out at University Billards. I haven't been there before but it should prove interesting.

After that...I saw Don. Aww the sweet man. He was a bit concerned that I wasn't feeling well. He hung around to talk to me about what I do for fun on my free time which is reading books or sleeping. *sigh* No social life. But that's what Andrew is trying to rectify! Don is an extremely busy man, he has two jobs and he has a girlfriend but he doesn't see her often. I kept asking him all day, "Why do you stay with her if you don't see her often? Don't you think she'd be better off with someone who HAS time to take her out?" After a sec from saying that, I blurted out, "But what do I know? I'm damn young!!! I know nothing."

He's only 26 but he has more experience than I do for sure.

Ahhhhh crap, my fucking body.

I knew but I went ahead and frigging did it. Took that delicious bite into my pizza. Fucking idiot. I should have shock therapy for this shit.

*groans and clenches stomach*

I'm going to bed. Lets hope I'm alive in the frigging morning.

2005-12-01T13:20:00.000-06:00

I'm sick...of a few things and I AM sick.

First off...

I'm sick of snow. I'm sick of being so scared to go out and drive those 15 to 20 miles to school in that snow. I'm sick of being so cold that when I get stuck in traffic, I stick my hands under my legs to warm them up. I'm sick of wearing boots that I barely can move my ankles in, my only other option was to wear my well-worn Birkenstock clogs and suffer slidding around the parking lot.

AND...

I AM sick. I woke up this morning with my mouth open. The entire back of my throat is SO dry, even when I drink water, drink O.J., eat gum, tried some chips, all but candy.

I really wouldn't be surprised if I got the flu sometime soon due to so many things going on.

Ya know...yesterday mom asked me a question I really thought she was done asking me but she asked it again...

"Where would you move to if you could right this minute? Other than Canada."

Geeesh mom!

My answer at first was to move back to either Virginia or North Carolina. Then I realized...I liked the memories I had of those two places but I didn't have that many "personal" friends, ya know? Then I said, "IRELAND!!!! Or even the greek islands?!"

I'm gonna do some research soon on those and see what it'd be like. Hmmm...flip-flops! Birk sandles! YAYYYYY!!!

No HNT Today

2005-12-01T05:29:00.000-06:00

So not in the mood. Very tired eventhough I went to bed early last night. Sorry folks.

Whine

2005-11-30T17:30:00.000-06:00

It's all I do now days...

Whine...

"I'm tiredddddd!"

"I don't have time for this!"

"How long did you say this has to be?"

"Do I have toooooo?!"

It goes on and on.

Believe me...if there was a whining contest that was based on making it sound REAL and not a "whine"...I'd so win.

Right now, I'm in the middle of writing out my geology paper which is due next friday. So far, so good. Kinda a rough start and now I'm realizing that I need to figure out what the hell the lay out is gonna be. Argh.

Fuck that for now...

I'm VERY tired. I just might go to bed right this very moment. Just frigging pooped out. I started falling asleep in my car earlier this morning while in traffic getting to school. At one point...someone had to honk to get me going.

Not good.

I will attempt to try and do a HNT tonight when mom's in bed. So don't expect anything ritzy like I've done the last few times. Sorry y'all.

HA, so weird!

2005-11-30T05:07:00.000-06:00

About not too long after I posted the last post, I got a text message from Andrew asking if I was still up for having a drink last night. After a few exchanged text messages, we agreed on Eagle's Nest near my favorite pizza place (well, ok, ONE of them!) Broadway Pizza in Robbinsdale. The bar is actually attatched to the restaurant but not really. Sadly I found out after getting inside that the kitchens were being remodeled for two months! Woah.

The only pizza they had available was the frozen kind. Oh poop. Oh well!

He! Andrew was sitting at the bar, wearing a long black trench coat along with a black cowboy hat that he looked good in, surprisingly! It's understandable why he'd wear the hat, it was frigging 16 degrees last night not including the wind chill. Promptly we sat down over beer and just talked the night away, SO much fun!

We did play pool after I drank up my ONE glass of Budlight from tap. I think I liked my beer a bit too much that I was a bit loopy. Ay. But interestingly, I won both rounds of pool, once by MY good shot, once by Andrew sinking the 8 ball, hehe! Funny.

After that, we sat down and talked while I ate the pizza. Andrew had this VERY thick beer that he said filled him up so he didn't really need food. Interesting! I did tell him that I would have to leave by around 9 so I could get home and get ready for bed. He so totally respected that and walked me out to my car, we were just chatting and laughing the whole time. When I told him about what happened to the driver's side of my car (it got broken into, so I can't unlock my car from that side but I can open it if it's unlocked.). So there I was sticking my ass out the passenger side trying to open my driver's side door. Like a gentleman, after I got it unlocked, he opened it for me as I was coming around. Hehe.

We stood there for a while longer, perhaps 15 minutes more just yabbering away. Tons of fun! We're gonna be doing this again soon, fer sure!

No dancing on tables Dan! Just shimmied up and down a pool cue, haha!

Sad thing though, I woke up not too long ago with absolute cramps...not the kind you get from your period but I had the "you ate something bad and I hate you" kind of cramps. *groans* I was awake for perhaps 30 minutes trying to will the pain away. Eventually it did. Fuck. No more pizza.

Pizza may taste good and all that crap but if it is going to make my body try to reject it while it's still in my intestines (I could frigging feel it there, yow.), I will not be a happy person.

Anyway...nothing big today...just to school for Geology, off to Southdale Mall (not too far from school) to pick up a box of "Fiesta" ware dishes for my mom, then it's off to home to do more homework. I did make some headway last night. I apparently like pressure or stress in order for me to work on something, ya know?

Ugh...damn pizza. I still feel it there.

Huh...wha.....?

2005-11-29T16:56:00.000-06:00

So tired,
Unable to focus.

I'd rather just go to bed right this exact moment at 4:45 instead of two hours later after I finish up some homework.

Fuck, People, I am frigging tired! I feel like I haven't slept at all last night AND the night before. Ugh.

Some news:

A guy I work with at Cub, who's name is Andrew, wants to hang out with me sometime soon at a bar. We were talking Monday night before he left to go home and somehow the subject came to drinking and bars, etc... We had a SUPER long conversation about howcome I haven't gone out to a bar in a long time, what kind of beers we like, what kind of alcohol beverages he mixed and named himself. That sort of thing. Suddenly he said that we should go out and have a drink because he said it just wasn't right that I went out for a beer once every blue moon.

So...I might go out for a drink one night this week...if I sleep well the night before.

One more piece of news...

My hours at Cub got frigging cut because of that new girl that we have working in the mornings. Guess what?

I.DON'T.LIKE.HER.

Usually, I'm easy going and I like people right away but when they are taking something away from me that I need in order to live more comfortably, then I don't like you.

I really need to talk to Teri and get the frigging schedule fixed for me! OH!! AND...I also have to find out of Leola, our current donut fryer, walked off the job or not. If Leola does walk off the job, we all get more hours! To be honest, if Leola walks off, we'd all be better off without her than we were with her. MAJOR attitude-ville when she was working.

ONE last piece of news, I swear then I'll do my frigging homework...

I said outloud at work Monday night...

"I am kinky."

HAHA!!

Truth is...I like crude things. The cruder it is, the more I love it. I find that if a person is crude, I tend to remember you more than I would remember anyone else. Does that make sense?

That has absolutely nothing to do with "I'm kinky." But it was said right after that also, hehe! The shock on Don's face was so worth it! Don = assistant manager of the clean up crew. He likes to stop by and tease the girls. Ay. He's 26 and has a 31 year old girlfriend that he never sees because he has two jobs. I see him more than his gal does!

*sigh*

He smells super nice every time I see him...just *growls* niceeeeee. And, HA! I finally slapped his butt...priceless!! If he wasn't black, I would have seen him blush big time, HAHA!!!

*sigh*

Ok...homework...wooooooo...blah.

Tag! Yer it!

2005-11-28T09:01:00.000-06:00

Stole this from Addict...gotta love her!

The rules:

Remove the blog that is #1 from the following list and bump everyone else up; add your blog at #5!

Not So Silent Lucidity
Life Isnt Fair
6 Million Dollar Blog
News Gossip and Lies

Next: Select 5 new friends to piss off.

Nah, anyone can do this one, just drop a comment and I'll hop over and laugh hilariously at what you did ten years ago!

What were you doing ten years ago?

Ten years ago...I was 13. Finally a teenager. I was living in Hampton Virginia with my mom, going to middle school, 7th grade. I don't think it snowed that year until February. Weird. But anyway...I recall wearing shorts on Christmas day. Hell yeah! I was a loner back then and I still am today. I didn't participate in activities except for softball tournaments with my church youth group.

Addict added "What were you doing five years ago?" because she can!!

Holy crap, ok, let me think a sec here...Ah, 2000. Just started my senior year in high school at Chapel Hill High, Chapel Hill, North Carolina. I remember always whining to my mom, asking for extra cash for gas cuz I always ran out of gas before I came home, hehe! There was always 1/4 of a tank left when I went to school each day and I always went out for lunch at either Arby's or McDonalds. Both were just about 5 miles away. I'd speed to get there and speed to get back to school on time for classes. Ay...I still do that a bit these days but atleast I fill up when I have 1/4 of a tank left these days, hehe!

What were you doing one year ago?

I was finally on my own for the first time. Living with two awesome gay men who claim to be "married" along with their two crazy cats and two parakeets that they found in the backyard (weird story). I was working at Victoria's Secret, barely making rent payments which was 400 a month for a private room, sharing the bathroom, kitchen, laundry room, etc... That didn't include utilities which cost sometimes 100 a month. Ay. I'd often be found in my room whining to my mom to call my dad to ask for money for me. I'm the master whiner. I was emotionally wrecked, I cried when I overwithdrew my checking account. I cried when I had to take my car in to get it fixed with money I didn't have. I cried when I had to go to work and realize that I wasn't being paid for over time unless I did 40+ hours a week but I did nearly that a week. It was a good and bad year. My lonliest year and yet my most educational year.

Five snacks you enjoy

1. Lays Cheddar Stax chips, MMMMMM!
2. Red Baron's single microwavable pizza, MMMMM!
3. Skittles baby!!
4. Butter cookies (drooooool!)
5. Chex Mix, YUM YUM!!!
Shit, I'm hungry now!

Five songs you know all the lyrics to

Since I don't know any songs...seriously, not even a nursery song, I'm just gonna list something else!

Five pieces of clothing you can't do without

1. Blue jeans that squeez my ass the way I like it, HAHA!!
2. My RIT sweater from a college I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life paying back in debt, yike.
3. My leather Birkenstock clogs that my mom got me when I was 17.
4. My Smartwool socks, toasty toes!
5. All my 3 bras. I ONLY got 3, yup.

Five things you would do if you were a millionare

1. Finish school all the way to my master's degree.
2. Tour the Greek Islands for a few months on my own.
3. Tour Ireland on my own for a few months.
4. Build my dream underground house! WOOT!
5. Buy, open and manage my own bookstore.

Five bad habits

1. I avoid doing things I don't like, way too much.
2. I sometimes don't clean up after myself in the kitchen, bathroom, living room and yet I keep my room clean, my car clean. Stupid.
3. I blog too much.
4. I don't talk.
5. I make excuses for people who are not there to make excuses for themselves.

Five things you like doing

1. Reading books.
2. Writing bad, VERY bad poetry.
3. Hiking.
4. MOVING!!
5. Traveling, big time.

Five things you would never wear again

1. Straight legged jeans.
2. Perm.
3. Ponchos. (have to agree with ya Addict!)
4. Thong panties of any kind, major wedgie village!
5. Headbands.

My favorite toys

1. My laptop.
2. My car, it may not seem like it but I like it!
3. Books!!!!
4. My cell phone, hehe!
5. Uhh...books?

Ah! That's it!

2005-11-26T21:24:00.000-06:00

I've been working non-stop all day on my homework eversince 9 am till 9 pm...hell yeah. Worked on a geology assignment, worked on my math for the rest of the time, then I worked on my 8 journal entries and I had just started on my geology term paper when I decided to call it quits and watch hockey on da web!

*watches it for a sec*

Muhaha! A player got his stick taken away cuz something was wrong with the length of it or what? I don't have the sound on cuz if I did, I still wouldn't understand a damn thing. Shoot, why don't computers have closed captioning?! By the way, it's Washington and New York...fun fun!

Ya know...it's been 2 years since I've ever watched a hockey game...fer real.

GEEEE GOL DAMN!

Those refs sure got one exciting job...WOOT!

From now on I'll just do a carry out!

2005-11-26T17:30:00.000-06:00

I absolutely HATE talking to pizza delivery/ordering people. Ya know how they are..."HELLO!WELCOMETOPAPAJOHNS,HOWMAYIHELPYAHHHH?!" All in one frigging word? I barely can understand them when they do that but I want my pizza...*whines*

Instead...I order it online so I don't ever have to pick up the phone...until...

The phone rang...he didn't know where to find me. Ay, just talked too fast but I had an idea of what he was asking me since my mom had the same thing happen last time we ordered a pizza but that time was over the phone. AY!

Do these people NOT have manners?

If you are a pizza delivery person or you do some sort of delivering and answering phones, blah blah blah...etc.... be considerate of the customers. They are the ones that are paying you to do your job! I did NOT ask to be talked to that quickly and I feel stupid when I realize you said something and I didn't get it. Seriously...consider the customer and think of how they'd like to be talked to.

There.

End of rant.

BUT...I seriously am gonna just do those DAMN carry-outs from now on!

Why did I do this in the first place?!

2005-11-26T09:06:00.000-06:00

I'm really beginning to regret starting college. Oh yep I am. I've had more stress at school than I ever did my whole life, even when I studied for my final exams in my Senior year (those were pass or fail exams). I don't feel like I'm learning or getting anything useful out of these classes. Well...perhaps Geology and Sociology but the rest are BULL shit.

Un-fucking-believeable.

I have TONS of work to do and they are all due on Monday.

*Geology assignment #4 on Global Warming, a 3-page paper.
*Geology Term Paper on differences between soil in Minnesota and Ireland.
*English 10 page journal entry on how my term paper for english is progressing.
*An english hand out that I have to read, edit and re-do.
*Re-edit and revise my last essay, which was from MONTHS ago, fuck.
*Finish up my last math chapter so I can take my last test on Wednesday.
*Finish up and study my math exam study guide and take my exam early.

Oh and we must not forget my final term paper for english. *groans*

Somebody shoot me now.

Somebody remind me why the fuck am I here doing this shit?

I REALLY do not feel like I'm getting anything useful. Fuck.

****EDIT****

Turns out after I talked to my mom, made my stand, she said I can make my own decision. My decision = stay home and work on this shit!

*snaps fingers in zig-zag style*

Because y'all asked!!

2005-11-25T08:13:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone had a safe and fun-filled Thanksgiving!! Mine isn't done yet, I have one more to go to tomorrow which is at my aunt's house...YAY TURKEY! Ay! My belly won't be like this for a while, fer sure.

Yes, that's my bathroom mirror...

The Smitten Kitten

2005-11-24T23:08:00.000-06:00

Yep, ya read that right! The Smitten Kitten is a sex store in Minneapolis. I haven't personally been there yet but I'm pretty sure it's MUCH MUCH better than Sex World that is in Minneapolis also.

Why do I think Kitten would be better?

I've been to Sex World more times than I can say. I did buy ALL my toys there and I love my toys, I do! Honestly...the store itself? I don't like it. It's open 24/7, everyday, every night. There's toys, videos, magazines, porn booths (of either videos to watch or real live women behind glass to watch), and a sex joke store on the top floor. Sadly, it's in MAJOR need of remodeling. It's stuck in the 80's and it is ACTUALLY sticky. OH!!! They sell pot products there too by the way, along with the bongs. I learned SO much in that store just by a glance.

Truthfully, it's not for me. It's more of a joke.

Now...Kitten would be SO much better. It's run by women and their website is SO full of information, it's clean and I predict that the store would be clean too! OMG...I so need to go over there SOON! My ducky is dying. *sighs* Poor thing, it coughs so much and sputters, farts but it still gets me off. *pats it's head*

While browsing Kitten's website, I came across this...

Guess how much it costs...GUESS!!!!

Frigging $1500 bucks. I KID YOU NOT!!! Seriously. $1500 bucks.

Why? Because the "case" is completely 18 karats of gold. WOO! To really see it, go to "Online Shopping", click on "Gift Items" and go to "Luxury Items". You'll see it once you scroll down a bit. Is that NOT insane? There's also one for 200 bucks less and is all silver. WOW WOW WOW!!!!

Although I can hear y'all saying, "But what does she like?!!"

Allow me!

Yep yep! I like this one because I HIGHLY prefer clitorial action versus penetration in order for me to have a nice orgasm, mkay?

Details on this one: "Femblossom's ergonomic controls features nine vibe functions with five levels of intensity each (45 speeds). This lovely vibe is made with an antibacterial medical-grade elastomer that can easily be cleaned with mild soap and water." A lovely $129 dollars. I think I'll save up for that, yep yep.

The Femblossom can be found with the luxury gift items also!!

*sigh* I miss being in a sex store. It's been almost over 9 months since I've been in one!! And that was when I spent 20 dollars on stupid Ben-Wa balls that I obviously did not need, they just didn't fit. For some reason I thought I'd need some "tightening up" but HA, that's LAUGHABLE...obviously NOT needed at all. I was just fine and still am fine the way I am, HEHE!

Atleast these feet are not going shopping tomorrow!

2005-11-24T22:17:00.000-06:00

I LOVE my feet!! It's NUTS! And no this is NOT my HNT picture. If it was my HNT picture, it would be NEKKID!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2005-11-24T00:09:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful for a lot of things.

I'm thankful for my mom. She's done so much for me and I can't even begin to thank her for putting up with me and shaping me to be who I am today.

I'm thankful for the little things that just make me laugh, smile or just instantly feel better on a bad day.

I'm thankful for my job and my co-workers.

I'm thankful for Justin. He's just the best!

And finally...

I'm thankful for the ability to have dreams. Life wouldn't be worth working hard for if I didn't have something to look forward to or work towards each day. Hell yeah!

***Side note...there will not be HNT this week from me due to computer problems earlier (see other posts) and not enough time to do a damn thing. Sorry y'all...I'll make it up some how...if I have time! *winks* ***

Poll Results

2005-11-24T00:03:00.000-06:00

The question was...

"What should I do about Ben and our 'drinks date' that hasn't happened yet?"

The results:

"Make a suggestion to him for another day" was number one with 4 votes.
"Wait until he says something" was number 2 with 3 votes.
"Nah, do something else" was number 3 with 2 votes.
The rest either had no votes or just one.

Here's what I'm gonna do:

Forget about him.

I thought about it at work today and I realized that if he wanted to spend time with me, he would have made the effort. So...fuck him. *shrugs*

Life's too short to chase someone.

Thanks all for yer opinions whether they were through the votes, e-mail, etc... Thanks!

I'm afraid...

2005-11-23T14:28:00.000-06:00

...that I might curse out my co-workers and my customers today.

Major shit day, k?

Anyone got duct tape?

I'm ditzy!

2005-11-23T13:24:00.000-06:00

ARGH!

After spending over an hour and a half sitting here on my bed, fighting my computer, trying to get it to stay on for more than ten minutes so I could FIGURE out what the fuck the problem was!!

It all started with an innocent website that I go to all the time, it just takes a while to load up, even at top speed due to the popularity of the site. I usually just open it and go do something else and come back to it fully loaded. That so did not happen this time around.

It crashed...not once, not twice, but 6 FRIGGING TIMES?!!!!!!!

I kid you not...6 times.

After the second crash, I attempted to restore it and it crashed during that, fuck! After that, it crashed every time I tried to run my virus scanner so I trashed the virus scanner and got the McAfee Virus Scan from my internet provider, it's hella free, so why not, ya know?

Before I could dowload it though, the blessed sweet computer crashed and wouldn't GO past that damn screen that is all black and has all those mumbo jumbos written on it along with that blinking dash that did NOT do a fucking thing when I hit enter, space bar or letters but did do something after I hit Ctrl+Alt+Del...frigging A!

In my frustration, I did two audio posts by accident...deleted one cuz it was longer and I was extremely pissed off...cursing a bit more than the second one, which I left intact. I was going to say that I was not going to post HNT due to the computer problems, the fact that I have to go to work in an hour and a half and I haven't even fucking done my hair yet! As if the donuts would care...but I do!! I smell like yesterday's donuts...ugh.

Moving on...

Oh yeah, crisis averted, the new virus scan is working like a beaut!!!

Speaks for itself, seriously!

2005-11-23T12:48:00.001-06:00

Just horrid!

2005-11-23T09:12:00.000-06:00

Forget the audio post...I shouldn't have posted it in the first place. HORRID! I talked about my own masturbation history, how I discovered it, etc... It needs more explanation than the brief run down I had given y'all via audio post. Plus I should REFRAIN from audio posts. Ar.

No one was going to be able to understand me anyways. Sorry y'all.

See y'all tomorrow...if I can make it!

*note to self...do HNT ASAP...naked fer real.

(muhaha!! I love to tease!)

Frigging exhausted!

2005-11-23T05:44:00.000-06:00

I'm REALLY tired. Man. I don't think I slept much last night despite wearing an eye mask. It was SO bright in my room for some reason...I don't know what the fuck it was but I pity myself for when it snows and it'll be brighter outside AT NIGHT! Grrrr....

I'm SUPER sensitive to light when I sleep, I cannot sleep with a partner in my bed without being woken up by their every snore. Yeah yeah, I know I can't hear them but when it causes the person to slightly move, I'm FULLY FRIGGING AWAKE! *groans*

It's a wonder I had any sleep last year when I stayed at Joe's house those nights after watching movies. *sigh* I guess the only reason I did that was because any sleep I lost was always worth it. Lots and LOTS of petting...oh yes. He'd touch me, I'd touch him. *snickers* That's ALL I'm saying on that subject, for now.

Wow...my mind is totally blank...I'm REALLY very tired. Why am I up early? I just want to get a good parking spot at school. I'll just stick a notebook in my backpack along with the laptop and fiddle around at school. Perhaps I'll do an audio post, HELL YEAH! I decided last night just before I finally closed my eyes that I want to talk about masturbation!! YAY!

Ay...later...

Sorry, no audio post tonight!

2005-11-22T21:58:00.000-06:00

I kept thinking about what I wanted to say and I knew it wasn't going to make sense or come out as organized as it barely does here in my writing. I talked to myself all day to figure out what the HELL I wanted to talk about.

I went from...

"Hey baby, hey baby, hey! Slap my ass and make me happy today! WO WOO!!"

to...

"I really do not understand myself."

The first one...a song I was singing to myself in my car. Kept cracking up! I never got past that line, hehe!! It's true...I like having my ass slapped...especially during sex, YUM! TMI? Well, TOO bad.

The second one...I seriously do not understand myself, I guess that's what keeps me mysterious and interesting to myself.

Maybe I'll do a post tomorrow, audio that is.

Maybe I'll talk about sex? Sexuality? My body?

Woah...that's all I can think of. Strange. Must be the ovulation time of the month which is when a woman is the MOST horny...hmm...sounds about right.

Nite all...one more day of school AND work then I'm OFF, FREAKING OFF!!

Ok ok!! ONE more...

2005-11-22T06:30:00.000-06:00

I am SO proud of myself!!

*pats herself on the back*

I finished a 6-page draft of my research paper last night, THANK YOU!!!

Ohhhh thank you!!!

*bows to applause*

Thank you!!!

Why am I so proud? I never do well when I do a paper late at night but, for once, I did! Probably because I am VERY passionate on the subject, HELL YEAH!

Umm...I'll blog on that in a while...in between classes.

*muhahahahahahaha!!!*

Ahem...

Plus, I had just gotten home from a FRIGGING stressful day at work. *groans*

Nothing got done...sure, things got packaged and labled and put away but NOTHING got done. Why?

Hannah.

That just explains ALL of it.

Slow.

Talks.

Yaks.

Takes long breaks.

Talks WAY too much.

Did I not mention yabbering?

I...yes, I DID the frigging WORK! EVEN with 3 people helping us for 30 minutes each person, NOTHING got done. If they need to complain, THEY better talk to Hannah and see her weasel her way out of this one. K?!

I would have stayed an extra hour longer if I did not have that paper to finish. Oh yes, I would have sent Hannah home and worked my DAMN ass off for the next hour to get all that shit done. What was left was TWO...TWO FRIGGING racks full of pies. To get an idea...one side of the rack can hold 15 trays of 6 pies per tray. There are 2 racks of these, 4 sides, 60 frigging trays, 360 FRIGGING PIES!!!! We still haven't even put out the ones that we packaged last night, 390 extra frigging PIES!! All together = 750 PIES!!!

*groans*

I will not be surprised if after this week that I am sick of pies. Oh yes, I will not be surprised.

Ok...moving on...

Expect an audio post today, heheehhehe!! But after that I will only post ONE audio post a week, it's addicting...oh yes, SO addicting!!! Just like blogging but frigging quicker, haha!!!

YOW!

2005-11-22T06:25:00.000-06:00

Why?! WHY?!!!

Every frigging time, EVERY TIME!

I'm scared of the toaster....oh yes.

I put bread in the toaster, I wait for it to brown to that perfect tannish-crispyishness that I like, MMMMM...

but what does it do?

It tans to that perfectness I like and...

"Ka-POP!!!"

"eyahhhh!!!!"

*smacks counter!!*

*mutters, "Freaking A!"*

Makes me scream like a girl when it pops out.

Geezus.

Can't I atleast be startled like a man?

"Guh!"

Thank you for letting me disturb your day. Have a nice one!

First Audio Post!!

2005-11-21T12:53:00.000-06:00

Poll!!!

2005-11-21T06:00:00.000-06:00

I finally set up a poll. I've been thinking about it for quite some time now and it's DRIVING me nuts. I'd LOVE to hear y'alls opinions about this situation, k?

A brief conclusion of the "situation":

I work with Ben at Cub Foods. I like him. Obviously. He works in the grocery department and I'm in the bakery which is worlds apart. He asked me out in September and we went out to a movie and had a drink. Later on, I asked him about 2 weeks ago if he'd like to go for a drink sometime? Last monday I gave him two options of where we could go, no response until Thursday after I had said...

"Maybe we should just forget about it?"

We made plans for Friday night. Didn't work out because he forgot he was going to take his mother to see the new Johnny Cash movie. I did give him the option of doing drinks AFTER the holidays (whenever the fuck that is) or before thanksgiving...which is too busy for me.

What do y'all think I should do? Keep in mind, I am REALLY not a forward person. I can't just say, "Hey! I'd like to hump your leg right now, is that ok?" What I wouldn't mind doing though is...slapping his ass. Yeah...I'm sick. I just like firm asses, strong arms, tall bodies...mmmmmmmm. Glasses rock also, hehe!

COMMENT AWAY!!!!

Secrets...

2005-11-20T08:40:00.000-06:00

This one is so true...it almost could have been mine.

I will always wonder if he thinks about me, if he thinks of how he could have done things differently in the past. I hate him right now for not making an effort. I hate him for affecting the way I look at other men, how I act around them and how I speak to them. Yet, I love him because he's my father.

(Credit to PostSecret.com)

I think I've gone nuts...

2005-11-20T07:59:00.000-06:00

I've started giggling at the weirdest things possible...

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Insane Belly Dancer.

Where You Lived: Scotland.

How You Died: Consumption.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Humft, atleast I lived in Scotland!!

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Oh my frigging god...this one suits me to the T! FREAKKKKKKKKY.

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest:

You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary.

At Your Lowest:

You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in.

In Love:

You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated.

How You're Attractive:

Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room.

Your Eternal Question:

"What else do I need in my life?"

What's Your Power Color?

Knock me over with a feather will ya? Gol. To the T once again!

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.
You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.
Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.
You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Ok ok...I'll stop!

I've probably done more than what I've posted so far. WAY more. Some of them I didn't like the answer and couldn't go back to "do-over", hehe!

Happy Sunday...lets hope it is!

Heavy Hearted

2005-11-19T21:46:00.000-06:00

***Warning: I am not asking anyone to do anything about this. I have disabled comments for this perticular reason. I just want to say this, out where everyone can see it.***

Earlier today, before I went to work. I sent an e-mail to someone I cared about alot. I ended our "relationship".

I met him online during the spring of this year. I don't remember which month exactly but it was in the spring. We started talking and we got very close. I let him call me and despite me having a hard time understanding him, it was so nice to just hear his voice. I fancied myself in love with him but the truth is, he had stronger feelings for me than I did for him. I swore to myself that my feelings for him would be stronger as time went by.

That didn't happen. Just a week after my birthday in June, he abruptly broke off our friendship.

I was SO upset. I stopped talking about him all together. He deleted me from his instant messenger. Eventually I did the same. I remember trying to appear as positive as possible because at the time my mom had just moved back to Minnesota from Maine, I just had my birthday and I was working at Victoria's Secret almost non-stop.

We never spoke until about a week ago, I'm not exactly sure when (again...I just don't remember certain things very well) but it was through an e-mail. He asked if we could be friends again. I was SHOCKED...very upset and I was on the verge of tears.

During the summer I had thought about him, thought of what he was doing. I even wrote a few poems here and there. Now I realized that I liked him because he liked me. It never went any further than that. I am older because of that.

Anyway...I decided to go ahead and play cards with him via yahoo games. It was VERY difficult for me. I wasn't handling the situation very well. Then I sent him that e-mail this morning. Ay.

See...Once someone hurts me, makes me cry (whether on purpose or not), I remember it, for a long time. Not much makes me cry but when it does, it means alot to me. I never understood why he broke things off back in June. I still do not understand why he wanted to be friends again at this point. I just could NOT accept "I missed you" as a reason. I felt that it was a deeper matter than just missing me. There had to be more.

I don't know why I am writing all this here but it's here. This is how I felt.

The Somethings

2005-11-19T16:01:00.000-06:00

(This has to be something OTHER than kids or pets. Credit goes to Kate!)

1. Something that represents my past.

Gol...I sure didn't have to look far for this first one.

I got this from my mom when I was 5 years old. My very first blanket and we still call it the same name as we did back then, Mickey!

Here it is today, survived 18 years of wear and tear. Hehe! JUST one tear, I swear...how do I know? A tiny band-aid! HEHE!! It's been there for me almost immediately after my parents divorce (which I don't remember much of), for our first apartment, our first move out of Minnesota, when I had my first period, my first crush, my first cat. It was there for me when I graduated from high school and when I moved from North Carolina back to Minnesota and kept me warm during my first winter back in a house that had almost no heat at all (da farm). Seriously this dude has been with me the longest than anything I've ever owned. Shocks me.

Now days, Mickey isn't too far from me, he's always ready to keep me warm when what I have isn't enough (which is quite often). I love that blanket. 18 years people...18 fricking years. Shit, I feel old!

2. Something that represents my present.

I knowwww...this may not be much but it seemed fitting since I'm going to college, I'm trying to figure out what direction I want to go in. Frigging harder than it looks. This book is probably the first "self-help" book that made sense to me. Based on personality types, etc... it gives suggestions of what types of activities in a job you would not be and can be suitable for, etc... BIG eye opener for me. Helped me skim down to a few things like being a bookstore owner, an environmentalist, a geologist and a photographer instead of being a librarian, a researcher, a lawyer and a fashion buyer.

3. Something that represents my future.

Dan probably knows this one, hehe!

Isn't it obvious? I want to be hiking, taveling, exploring in my future, HELLLL yeah! What's in that picture is my favorite backpack (North Face) along with my snow boots (North Face) and my hiking boots (Columbia). *Sighhhhhh*

I'm getting so much more restless each year I'm in Minnesota. What's here isn't satisfying me. I want bigger things, more space and LOTS of beauty. Ah yes! HIKING!! *growls*

Not quite the "Terrible Twos"

2005-11-19T06:14:00.000-06:00

borrowed from: Dan who got it from Tracey

2 names you go by: Roselle to everyone I know in person, Roselly to everyone here online! (long story short, Roselly is a combination of Roselle and Lilly)

2 parts of your heritage: Gol, um...daughter of a truck driver/farmer who's family is German-American. Daughter of a sleep disorders technologist who's family is French/German-American. Although I feel Irish. Humft.

2 things that scare you: Long dark cloaks with hoods on them where I can't see the person's face and, of course, heights.

2 of your everyday essentials: Time alone and a book to read.

2 things you are wearing right now: My favorite "Life Is Good" pajama bottoms (watermelons!) and an XXL long sleeve shirt that says "Friends" (not the tv show), but it's comfy.

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment): No Doubt and Pink!!

2 favorite songs (at the moment): "Hey Baby!" and "Lets Get This Party Started in Here!"

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love): Respect and understanding.

2 truths: If you read Dan's answers to this one, you'd laugh, but umm my truths...I prefer talking to people one-on-one than in groups (way too confusing) and I think I'm finally becoming allergic to pizza. (NOOOOOO!!!!!!!)

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex): Lips (the first thing I see when I talk to anyone anyways), arms. (growls)

2 of your favorite hobbies: Hiking, blogging and reading (can that be a hobby?).

2 things you want really badly: There are so many things I want badly but I can do without them.

2 things you want to do before you die: (say it with me...)VISIT IRELAND!!!! Have children.

2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick: I fuss over lots of things, I worry and I nag.

2 things you are thinking about now: Will I get to work on time when I finish this? Will my hair dry on time? OO, do I have to wear that damn hat again today?

2 stores at which you shop: Cub Foods (my grocery store and also where I work) and Target.

Huh?

2005-11-18T19:48:00.000-06:00

"I forgot that I agreed to go to that new Johnny Cash movie with my mom tonight at 7. Could we reschedule for Monday?"

When did this become a business meeting?

Atleast the man texted me just as I got into work earlier.

Just as well...I have an awful headache, my stomach hurts and I am HOT...as in sweating. Oh yeah...tired too. It doesn't help me any that I need to be up and at work by 8 AM tomorrow morning. Atleast I'll be done by 1 instead of any later.

Mom and I are going to go see "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" tomorrow after I finish work...that'd be better than going with SC and SK on Sunday to a theater that I don't want to go to but I am going because they "out-voted" me. There's only two theaters in the twin cities area that has rear-view visor captioning, which is totally awesome but freaking expensive.

Kinda makes you wonder why someone would go to a movie that is expensive...I still don't know. I just like experiencing the movie with joy at the theaters more than I do at home. It's like a public bonding experience with all the people in that very same theater.

Nite all...it's not even 8 but it feels like 1 in the morning to me.

About time!

2005-11-18T05:19:00.000-06:00

After thinking about it all week, I sent Ben this following text message:

"Maybe we should do the drinks another time?"

Immediately he texted back:

"Actually, I'm free tomorrow night."

That made me ANGRY! Oh, Why did you NOT tell me this on MONDAY? I like knowing what I need to know in advance so I can figure out what to do WITH it.

An hour later:

"What time will you be free tomorrow? I'm working till 7."

"I'm free all day."

"Do you know where Old Chicago is in Roseville? That's my favorite restaurant/bar."

"No but there's an Old Chicago in Plymouth."

"Really? So did not know that. Would you like to go to the Plymouth one?"

"Sure."

"@ 8?"

"Sure. I'll pick you up at 8."

It was that last one that threw me for a spin. I told him earlier in the week that I wanted to go dutch but I never explained why. I felt SO guilty the last time we went out. He paid for my drinks, for the movie tickets, parking and even gas! ALL in the same night. He must have spent a total of over 40 bucks over the TWO of us. I felt so bad. I didn't feel like he had a good time so I suggested to go dutch this time around so I wouldn't feel bad.

After I got home, I immediately asked my mom, actually I woke her up but hell, I wanted to say something...

"Why do men prefer to drive a woman somewhere instead of letting her do it herself? I REALLY do not understand this one. I understand tradition but that's not around much these days."

She explained tradition, power, blah blah.

I asked Justin the same thing, he responded the same way, minus power.

We'll see.

"

Open 'em, Shut 'em

2005-11-17T05:00:00.000-06:00

You never would have guessed it

Happy HNT! See that orange HNT button on the side for more info!

"I will take any excuse, ANY excuse"

2005-11-16T09:37:00.000-06:00

The first dusting of snow for the season! You'd never guess what I'm doing now...well, ok maybe you can.

I don't like being cold and I have a good excuse...see the post below this one!

sighs and bangs head

2005-11-16T05:03:00.000-06:00

I'm debating on whether to go to school today or not. Yup yup. I have JUST one class and it's Geology. Ohhhh sweet Geology!!!!

The problem is...we had rain yesterday, all day. On top of that, we had snow all night, just dustings of it. I don't consider it a big "woopie-do" kind of snow. Do I want to drive those 20 miles to school? All the way down that damn highway? Ah fuck...I guess I'm going.

See...all major highways are always plowed first except for that one time when I lived not too far away, in Roseville with the two gay guys last year. One day was a day that the snow plows couldn't handle all the damn snow. I had to be at work by 8 AM. At the time I worked at Victoria's Secret. Anyway...my street was NOT plowed, so I had to make my own damn tracks, argh. But when I got onto a major road/street, it was nice and plowed...until I got to the highway. Freaking a! HUGE tracks...I was pratically shaving the snow that is in the middle of the tracks, ya know? Longest 15 minutes of my life. I only lived 5 miles away, geez!

But fer sure...this one will be plowed, sanded/salted. Mostly salted.

Well, shit...I woke up for nothing! I woke myself up at 4:40 and stumbled out of my room to ask my mom...

*mumbles, winces against bright light*

"Is it closed yet?"

"Honey, go check the website."

*grumble*

*looks out window...damn, they even plowed the parking lot, well there wasn't much to plow although there was a car that was towed last night, muhahahahaa!!!!!*

*ahem*

*grumble*

My question...

School

or

No School?

Some scribblings

2005-11-15T20:42:00.000-06:00

(Click image for bigger size)

(Click image for bigger size)

Yes...these are scans of my writing for my ideas for a tattoo I want to get super soon. I need to find an artist though. I know where I want to go, Twilight Tattoo in downtown Minneapolis. I haven't been there but I know someone who used to work there and he always recommends it to me when I mumble about tattoos.

The general idea of this tattoo is to show my love for books along with a quote on the pages of the book and I want there to be light or rays of some kind emiting the other images (shooting stars, 4-leaf clover and the damn cherries). Those images mean something to me and I got all of them from books. Does that make sense to y'all?

Despite the two tattoos I got just for decoration, this one will be my first meaningful one. It will MEAN something to me.

Location...on my belly, next to my belly button, I want to see it every day. To remind myself what I want to do with my life, which is enjoy it to it's fullest.

What y'all think?!

The kind that makes you scratch yer head

2005-11-15T14:00:00.000-06:00

YIKE! I guess this is where Frankenstein goes to get his body parts, WOOT! After all, it's the internet age, isn't it?

"It's ALIVVVVEEEEEEEE!!!

*snickers*

Soapbox Rant #1

2005-11-15T05:50:00.000-06:00

Topic:
Men suck because they play games with women even if they say they don't. Men lie to feel better about the truth.

Argument:
There are MANY different ways men suck. They suck to bring a woman to orgasm or to anger. One is different from the other, fer sure.

Now...when a man plays games with a woman. It confuses the woman, it might excite her because she can contribute to the relationship by guessing or making suggestions. Although, it can backfire. Women are NOT toys. Blow-up dolls are toys, we may look alike to those damn toys but we have a mind, we speak, we have moveable, shrinkable, and inflatable body parts that are not under our control!

Women do play these games too because we are testing men to see how they would react. I, by rule, do not do that because I don't like games being played with me. Understand? I follow a rule that goes something like this, "Treat me the way you want to be treated." If I want to be loved by you, I will love you and I WILL expect the same in return. If you cannot do that, say it. Don't let the relationship go any further if you cannot give or recieve that type of attention. Understood?

If you have to lie, say it to me straight forward. I would understand. If you don't want to go out with me after I've asked you out, say it. If you want to take me out for dinner, FUCKING SAY IT!

Is that NOT clear enough?

Simply...games confuse men and women. So do lies. The truth may hurt but it's better than a white lie and a bald-faced lie. Lies can actually divert someone but you have no idea how the results would come out if you keep running with that lie. Go with the god-damn truth. I'm sick of being lied to, I'm sick of having games played with me.

If you have something to say, just SAY IT. Life is too short to play games, lie or to put something off.

I am still angry.

*steps off soapbox and leaves*

*****EDIT*****
7:53 PM 11/15/05

I was NOT pointing fingers to anyone y'all know...just to one person that has NO clue I have a blog. K?

HOLY CRAP!

2005-11-13T20:30:00.000-06:00

Oh man...

Mom just told me that my uncle Paul who studies wolves is going to study polar bears WAYYYYYY up north in Canada. HOLY CRAP! Lemme tell ya what's gonna happen...

Right now my uncle is in Alaska, in Denali National Forest Park (whatever it's called). He's there assisting a professor with the studies of wolves in the park there. He just finished his masters on wolves and published a 99 page thesis paper about his studies in the last 6 to 7 years in the northern Canada territories.

NOW the freaking man wants to go MUCH MUCH further north to study Polar Bears? Is he freaking insane?! He has a girlfriend that is just...JUST 2 years older than me, she's freaking 25 years old!!!!! He is almost 40, one more year to go till he's a 40ish man now. Sheeeeesh!

The problem is this...if he does go NOW, we will not see a peep of him for 3 years. GAH! As proud as I am of the man...I'm frowning upon this one.

See that red dot in Minnesota? That's where I am, also where he's from. The dot in Alaska is where he's now. The dot all the damn way up there is EXACTLY where he's gonna be for the next 3 years. *smacks head on wall*

Paul has been up near Calgary and Edmonton in Canada, that's mainly where he studied wolves in the last few years. Now this one is a HUGE leap from what he's used to. These animals are bigger, they have acute sense of smell...VERY accurate. This one is from my own brain archives...polar bears can smell prey 2 miles away. THAT is scary. HELL! I rather pee in front of a horny wolf...thank ya very much!

For those curious...try and find this damn town called Iglufik (I think...my map is fuzzy!) or it is Igloolik. Well, what ever the fuck works. But that's where dear uncle is going. Geezus, I hope I do see him again before he leaves for that trip. Grandma Lee is hoping that he'll make it down for christmas before taking a leave of absence for 3 years. Fuck, by then I might be married or even having a kid. One thing for sure, I'll be at U of MN, WOOT!

All together, I'm proud of him...I just hope he comes back alive. And...I don't know what this study is for, just that he's tracking the polar bears and I hope he's not going alone.

A Day of Laughter

2005-11-13T15:10:00.000-06:00

I am INSANELY happy today.

I'm sitting around the house, in my pajamas, working on my two essays. I just had my hair cut by mom. I talked to Justin earlier. I seem to be coming to terms with myself as a person, finally! I'm excited about going out for a drink with Ben.

But really...what made me laugh was so simple, so damn simple.

I wanted to see if I could find a pair of bright yellow, orange or green pumps...hellllll yeah! But...I struck out. None at Marshall Fields, none at Target, none at Payless ShoeSource. Poop. Online of course!

Although...I found this at Payless ShoeSource and LAUGHED...Oh my god...Laughed till I had tears coming down my face. I thought they didn't make those anymore!!! Oh man oh man...to think for a sec, I even thought I wanted to BUY IT! HAHA!!! Hilarious!

In other news...yesterday at work Ben seemed to be giving me a bit more attention after I asked him out for drinks Friday night...not bad eh? I'm pleased, VERY pleased. I'll be texting him tomorrow to see if he knows when he'd be available next weekend. I'm aiming for next Saturday night cuz on Friday night, I work till 9 and I have to be at work on Saturday morning by 8.

*sigh*

I'm debating with myself...should I suggest to go to Green Mill Restaurant, one of my favorite restaurants? OR to Old Chicago in St. Paul...ohhhhh hell...it's gonna be Old Chicago for sure...I LOVE it there! *growls* The restaurant is big on beer and all alcoholic beverages (his favie but not mine) BUT they are big on sports (my favie, not his) AND pizza (our favie). Yeahhh, that'd sure work out. Lets hope he agrees with either that or the other. We'll see!

Effing Green!!

2005-11-12T20:38:00.000-06:00

I am ACHING SO bad for a green blog template, DESPERATE for it oh man. I was looking through blogskins.com, msn.com, google.com, yike. I did find a few that I like but helly!!! I do not like having someone elses' title on the template OR even their own effing name...ARRR! I pick blogs for their individuality and such. I like to stand out. I happen to like green very much at this time of the year.

Another reason why I should live in Ireland, effing green all the time! AR!

Ok...rant over.

By the way, if someone knows or found a site that offers templates for free and they are green all over with retro designs, GIMME A HOLLA!! HEHE...

Man...do I look like I'm morphing into a 13 year old teenager?

*sighs and shakes head*

Damn me and my thoughts before I go to work!

2005-11-12T07:40:00.000-06:00

Ok, another quick post before I "dash off" to work!

I had an awful thought last night (other than asking Ben for a drink)...

My train of thought was all over the place, I was thinking about what Amiee (our part-time cake decorator) said about me having perfect speech and knowing sign language so fluently, etc... I even caught myself asking a customer (who is NOT deaf) about a word that they wrote for someone's name so I could write on their cake...I asked if it was a U or a V...I used my hands to spell it out. Geezus, scared me.

I hadn't done that in a LONG time. I used to sign when I spoke, to make an emphasis on what I was trying to say to someone who is DEAF...not hearing.

It got me thinking again about who I am...who am I really?

Right now, I'm totally deaf...I haven't put my hearing on yet due to wanting a bit of quiet before I go to work. But the thing is...I have two, perhaps more, sides to me. I am hard-of-hearing (mostly hearing) and I am deaf. There are more sides but they don't relate to this topic. Who am I?

Another thought...I somehow spoke these words, "I am who I am." Then I realized...howcome am I not dating someone LIKE me? Someone who is hard-of-hearing or deaf...ya know? It just struck me odd that I never even wanted to date someone who was like me. EVER. I looked back into the past a bit and ALL the men I was either interested in or "dated" were mostly hearing men. Only one or two were deaf.

I guess it makes sense for me to date someone who is like me...I just wonder why I haven't yet.

Oh duh...yeah, I'm NOT part of the damn Deaf community anymore. Another reason to the community part would be because my mom was afraid of me loosing my speech once I got back in to the community. I would be signing all the time, ya know? Eh...complex.

All I know is this...the time will come, soon.

Stupid or what?

2005-11-12T05:54:00.000-06:00

Last night, I had been talking myself into asking Ben out for a drink sometime this week. Oh man, oh man, did I ever ask him!

"Hey Ben!"

"Hey!"

"I was wondering if you would like to go out for a drink sometime?"

"Yeah! Sure!"

"Like...when do you think you'd be available?"

"Well, I'm pretty busy this week, maybe next weekend?"

"Sure! That sounds good...I guess I'll text message you then since you won't be in the Deli anymore?"

"Okay."

"Well...see you later."

"Later."

That was something I never thought I'd do...SERIOUSLY! I asked the freaking man out for a drink. Is that wrong or not?

Plus...the strange thing I just figured out last night...Don knows more about me than Ben does because Don is around more often, he gives me attention and he actually sticks around, ya know?

Who is Don?

A tall stocky black man...oh yeahhhhh *drooool* He works out ALOT...has a few tattoos, he's 26 years old and has a 31 year old girlfriend who he has been seeing for 3 months or so. He says he hasn't gone to college yet, just busy working. He truly is interested in knowing who I am and I really appreciated that coming from him. He's such a gentleman, hehe! One of the things I find VERY sexy from him is how he walks...with confidence and it makes you come to terms with his size, ya know? Plus, he turns me on with JUST a touch...gol...surprises me like hell. A touch on my back, a hug, a touch down my arm...anything.

It's sad that he has a girlfriend though. And he doesn't seem that happy at his job because his job requires him to walk around the store, check for cleanliness in certain departments and scan them off as he passes through. Kinda like a checklist for each hour or so. He'd also help with basic mechanic work. I would say that he's in charge of the cleaning crew...so that's who he is. Lately he'd come around, hang out with me, ask questions about me and I TRY my best to ask him some questions because I'm so flattered to have any attention at all from him. Plus, he just likes the food we set out for samples...most of the time, hehe!

Ya know...I HATE it when I don't ask questions back, ya know? I'm just struck by the person's kindness to ask me questions about myself, TRULY wanting to get to know me or something and I just plain forget to ask back. To make up for it, I sometimes ask a question first. Don and I would talk about tattoos, he has a few, I showed the two that I have and we discussed where we got them, he never got his in Minnesota, I didn't either. I asked what he did the other night after work, he responded that he went out drinking with his friends and wishes he hadn't...ah ouch.

Oh well...I like Don, alot...as a friend. I mean, I need to respect the fact that he has a girlfriend.

Now...with this Ben issue...I'll just go out for a drink with him and try to see what's left. I haven't a clue what's there anymore, ya know? We never spoke or interacted OUTSIDE of work, ya know? We'll see. Say...am I testing Ben? I sure as hell hope not because I don't want to be labled a mania (from sociology, long long story) who tests their partners ALL the time and if they don't meet it, they cut them off immediately. Yowch...

Ok...that should be enough for my random boys moment...

Oh speaking of boys...I'll be writing a few letters...eventhough it may seem dumb but it's a tradition that we all should uphold. AND give the mail men something to deliver! Hehe!

(Why am I up early? Mom accidently woke me up at 5 freaking 30 this morning when I was planning on getting up at 6...she thought it was 6:30 when she woke up...ah, thanks.)

One more thing for the day...

2005-11-11T13:21:00.000-06:00

I wanted to dash off this quick post, I was reminded by Kalani. Today's Veteran's Day! We have our soldiers to thank for our nation's freedom. I am going to write to a soldier at anysoldier.com because I want to thank them for their undying dedication to America. Plus, I should send some things overseas. I know what it's like to desire something and know you will not be able to see it for a while, if ever.

Although, I hestitate because of my utter fascination of men in uniforms. Yike. I will write...super soon because I like to write! Especially to anonymous soldiers. We'll see how that turns out.

Off to work!

"What did you say? Oh?! I can go back to sleep?!"

2005-11-11T08:09:00.000-06:00

*Sigh*

As if I could!

Once I wake up, I'm up all day long.

Thank you sun for waking me up so I could see your bright rays shining through my blinds, despite the fact that they are tightly turned to a direction where my room is pitch black unless I turn on the lights.

Anyway...I'm gonna whine for a bit then I'll move on to the business, K?!

I REALLY do not want to work on any of my essays today, REALLY do not want to. I just want to be lazy and browse the internet, read my books, go to the library and get more books. Just enjoy the day for what it is.

Sadly that can't be done. I need to work on my Geology term paper along with my English term paper. Ohhhh yeah, math, glory be! Arrrrr!

With Geology, I'm still researching, I can't figure out HOW to put my essay together, grrr! I'm researching on the difference between two different soil types. One from Minnesota, another from Ireland. TEE HEE!! I actually should work on that today...fer sure. It's hard to find a specific BOOK on the subject, ya know? Ah hell, I'll be at the library today anyways...lets do this damn thing!

English is going to be a term paper on the Deaf discriminating the deaf. Yep yep. More specifically...the Deaf discriminating the deaf that have cochlear implants. NOW that is a PAPER! I have a cochlear implant, I HAVE been discriminated by my OWN Deaf. I just didn't realize it. Too innocent at the time. The entire Deaf community/culture is extremely against cochlear implants. When you think about it...the Deaf community actually contains deaf people who have been deaf all their lives and are much older (sorry folks) in their 40's and so on. They have lead lives that were very very difficult and now that they've got to the place they wanted to be in the very first place, someone comes along and tries to jostle them out of it. That's how they view it.

Cochlear implants, to me in my opinion, are a good thing for deaf children and adults alike. It is a good thing when you accept it. I mean, come on...technology is changing ALL of our lives, we just have to adapt to it. Geezus! That isn't freaking hard to do! But then again...if you've met a stubborn person who refuses to do something/try something/change something...you will know exactly what I am talking about.

I spoke to a group of older deaf people, who were in their 60's, 70's, they REFUSED to hear what I had to say about WHY I got an implant. They just wanted me to sign, never wanted me to speak outloud. Excuse me, but I signed for them, I translated things for them, I helped them follow along with the church hymns...DEAL WITH IT. Plus...they consider people with cochlear implants HEARING! WHAT?! I don't hear at night...I don't totally understand everything I'm hearing but atleast a major portion of it. How the FUCK can the Deaf community deny me the right to interact with MY OWN peers...ARRR!

I guess I didn't realize that I was discriminated untill now. It also explains why I haven't even attempted to re-connect with the Deaf community here in Minnesota. The further out you go into the mid-west...the more strict things are to routine. Understand? Plus, if you think about it, it takes a SUPER long time for certain methods or technologies to reach the mid-west. Just pisses me off.

Now...moving on...I cannot write my entire essay in blogger, for christ sake! HEHE!

I really REALLY want to finish my math ASAP so I can take my final exam in math BEFORE the official final exams. It'd be a HUGE relief for me if I did that, fer sure. I think I'll assign Saturday and Sunday to be my math days so I can take the 2nd to last test on Monday, WOOT!

Ok....time for the biznazzzzz...

When I was at work last night, I saw Ben. We had a lil talk, not a deep one or anything like that. Just brushing the surface to keep the friendship alive on his part. Weird eh? Anyway...he told me something that took the wind out of my sails, yow.

"So, what's going on with ya?"

"Did ya hear? I'm transfering."

"Noooo! I didn't hear that! Where to?"

"To the Grocery department, hehe!"

*chuckes*

"Howcome?"

"It's just time to move on from the Deli...plus I wouldn't have to interact with people that much."

Woah...MAJORRRRRR misunderstanding on my part!! Fer sure. Man! But that's pretty typical of me. I would assume the ABSOLUTE worst so that when the real reason comes around, I would not feel so bad about it, ya know?

Yeah yeah yeah, I know...I think too damn much. Thank you VERY much.

What the F is wrong with me? Lemme tell you a conversation Mom and I had the other day...

"Hey mom, how do you know when you want to date someone that is your friend?"

"Well honey, if you cannot see that person with someone else but you, then date them."

"Oh! That's so simple!" (Then again, everything is, right? We just complicate it for ourselves to either delay the pleasure or prolong it.)

"Has there been someone like that you wanted to date?"

"Oh...no. None so far."

"What about Ben?"

"Well, that's the thing...I still view him as someone I could date but I don't get jealous when he talks to other people. I've gotten used to not seeing him, not talking to him. It wasn't meant to be."

"Then what about Justin?"

"Hehe, Justin...well...I did get jealous when he added SK to his friends list on MySpace but then I realized...I was just jealous that they were making friends and live closer together. Now I'm ok about it...seriously."

"Here's another tip for you...if you are friends with someone and you are thinking of dating them...think about what would happen if you never saw them again. How would you feel and that would be your answer."

"Hmm...good point."

Sheesh...I learned alot that day. I started applying that lesson to my life already and...it seems very empty right now. See...I've gotten so used to being on my own, being alone and without any friends due to moving alot and thanks to my extreme shyness, I hide but I do participate. I'm way too used to it that I'm starting to get afraid that it might be all I have, ya know?

Shit, I hate that feeling, I really do. I do pride myself for working best when I'm alone but...I do need human interaction now and then, ya know? Although, I do like being on my own, alone.

Man, this sure is depressing. Off to have breakfast, read a book, shower and go to the freaking library and find that damn book on Minnesota Soil, I've focused WAY too much on Ireland (ohhhh of course!).

It's a NEW DAY!

HNT Number 14! (ohmygosh!)

2005-11-10T05:05:00.000-06:00

Brand New Day by No Doubt

At the end of the day you are worn, and too tired to sleep

But then you do dream of wonderful things

That you might do, right on through to the next day

And then you wake up

The sun's on your face

You're stretchin' while you're sayin'

It's a Brand New Day!

It's a brand new day and the sky is clear

So let's come together, everybody cheer

Come out people from everywhere

Let's see your faces, the day we'll share

Celebrate a Brand New Day Everyday!

Call out to the workers and the children in the schools

It's a day of celebration so put down your tools and

Celebrate a Brand New Day Everyday!

Come see the mountains and come see the shores

Way too exhausted from doing something else...

Friggin Bizarre!

2005-11-10T05:03:00.000-06:00

I was sleeping just peacefully like a baby in fetal position not too long ago. For some perticular reason, my eyes exploded with light and showed me one bizarre dream.

I'm in a room full of clothes, shoes, underwear, etc... Somewhere under all those clothes is a bed, my sweet queen size bed. I'm assuming it's my bedroom but it doesn't look like it, way too many clothes than I really do now. I was getting dressed, super slowly, for school. Somehow glancing at a clock and it says 10:00. I started cursing and muttering.

"Honey...I want you to meet someone..."

"Well who the fuck is this person? I am FUCKING LATE for school! Just go away!"

"Honey...this is..."

*door slams shut*

"Oh god, JUST turn back time so I can be FREAKING on time for school, OK?!"

Somehow time warped back by putting all my shoes on top of the closet, which was NOT an easy feat. It flashed back to about 2 or 3 hours in advance, I think.

Resumed putting my clothes on slowly.

*knock, knock*

"Whadyawant?!"

"Dude, you got my shoes in there!"

*throws shoes out door*

"Thanks!!"

Somehow I flashed forward to being outside, riding an army caravan, going through a bad section of a town I had never been to. It reminded me of pictures I had seen of Iraq. There are soldiers running up front, some following in the back, protecting the vehicle.

All of a sudden, hell breaks loose...

I see swords instead of guns from the good army, cars from the bad enemy. A soldier ran up and jumped feet first into the window shield of a car, waving a HUGE sword that looked something out of "Aribian Nights". Those long thin curving swords.

Apparently these swords also defected bullets...COOL!

For some reason, I was NOT part of the caravan anymore, I was running behind a soldier, trying to get somewhere and he was defecting bullets constantly by waving his two swords like Neo from Matrix...very bizarre.

And then I woke up.

Interesting to me.

Ah you people crack me up sometimes!!

2005-11-09T12:51:00.000-06:00

I was just looking at my statcounter for some perticular reason and came up with the following from key words used to search and link to my blog, weird eh?:

Ellie (a portion of my link)

Black Clevage (Seriously?! This made me LAUGH like HELL! Thank you, seriously, to the person that searched that!!)

Blog HNT (Oh like always, you know where it is, *winks*)

Designer Roselly Smoking Jacket (Oh, now...I don't design jackets, just purses, thankya very much!)

Sigh Love Tall Men (oh yes I do!)

Sigh Love Tall Men (not once but twice by the same person, yep!)

Piazza's Ristorante (A restaurant I went to for my birthday with my mom

Roselly (DATS ME!!!!)

Aint that zanny?

New by No Doubt

2005-11-08T14:51:00.000-06:00

Don't let it go away
This feeling has got to stay
Don't let it go away
This feeling has got to stay
And I can't believe I've had this chance now
Don't let it go away

New, you're so new
You, you're new
And I never had this taste in the past
New, you're so new

My normal hesitation is gone
And I really gravitate to your will
Are you here to fetch me out?
'Cause I've never had this taste in my mouth

Youâre not old
And youâre not familiar
Recently discovered and I'm learning about you

New, you're so new
You, you âre new

And you're consuming me violently
And your reverence shamelessly tempting me
Who sent this maniac?
'Cause I never had this taste in the past

You're different, you're different from the former
Like a fresh battery I'm energized by you

(chorus)
Why am I so curious?
This territory is dangerous
I'll probably end up at the start
I'll be back in line with my broken heart
New, you're so new
You, you're new
And I never had this taste in the past

(chorus)
And I canât believe it
Can't believe it
Can't believe it
Can't believe it
Don't let it go away, this feeling has got to stay
Don't let it go away

(this so FREAKING speaks to me right now...so much. I LUV No Doubt! *squeals*)

See Attatched

2005-11-08T14:17:00.000-06:00

I'm also very angry.

I was at work yesterday, grocery shopping with mom. Well, I didn't get food but she did for herself. I just rode along to pick up my schedule for next week. I went into the break room where the store keeps ALL the copies of everyone's schedule in there. After checking mine, I realize, DOH, no paper on me. On my way out to head over to the bakery to get some paper, I glanced upon the deli's schedule which was RIGHT next to the bakery's schedule.

"WHAT?!!!! Oh crap..."

Struggling not to let my emotions show, I headed over to the bakery as quick as I could so I could get this freaking done with. Once again, I got upset over something else but work related. I have 15 hours next week, just 3 freaking 5 hour days? SHIT!

Instead of complaining, Hannah was the only one there at the time, so I couldn't do anything. I walked off to find mom and tried to remain quiet, which is hard for me to do sometimes when I'm upset. Remained extremely quiet, only agreed or disagreed with something mom said about preperations for our lil Frame/Schuster thanksgiving, just the two of us.

Mom, being my mom, was able to figure out that I was upset but she didn't guess it correctly. She thought I was upset about the work schedule and I let her believe that. I do need to talk to Teri about that anyways. I need that freaking money! ARRRR!!!!

Later, last night, when I went to bed, I actually cried, for the first time in a LONG time. I cried myself to sleep, for real.

GOOD LUCK BEN! WE WILL MISS YOU!
(This was on the deli schedule for next week. SHIT! ASSHOLE!)

Yield, Submit, I give up!

2005-11-08T05:13:00.000-06:00

Some of y'all might notice I've turned on the word verificiation, finally.

My reason? HUGE amount of spammers on my site last night, WHILE I slept. Argh. Thank god I was able to use the links through my e-mail to find them and delete them FOREVAHHHH!!!! But I had almost 5 last night, it annoys me. I don't have time for that.

What I'm trying to say is...if you don't like the word verification...too bad.

Grunts

2005-11-07T13:33:00.000-06:00

Eh, I know I'm insanely busy as of late. I have exactly ONE month till my final exams. I have NO idea what to expect. The teachers arn't done teaching us anything just yet.

So for now, I'm thankful that I only have two major exams, one for Geology and another for Sociology. Math can be done early, which is what I'm trying my best to do but it's a super big struggle between that and my other homework demands. Yike. English will be a take home exam, so that's MUCH better.

It won't be so bad, I know that already.

I'm working ALOT more at work, no less than 30 hours a week and I'm finally starting to manage my budget...finally!

Ohhhhh! I've started taking those calcium pills, yeeek. They seem to be working so far, no cravings for pizza, SUPER GOOD! I'm also trying to find a way for me to work out a bit sometime during the week or something...it's just hard to plan when I have no idea what I'm doing during the week.

Again...I'm doing my best to get things done. I'm not so stressed out, I promise! HEHE! I just need to work more on my homework. English is a MAJOR bummer, geology is AWESOME, sociology is freaking boring and math is going....going.

Oh yeah! I'm top number two in my geology class, MUHAHAAHAHA!! *growls* I'm SUPER happy about that! I've NEVER made it past a B in any of my classes in high school as a final grade. NEVER. If I did, I probably cheated, k? HEHEE! But it feels good to know that I definitely EARNED this!

The highest points gathered so far was 114 points, I have 104 points and the third highest was 100. WOOOOOOT! I know it's just a 4 point difference but, I'm climbing! Last week, before a pop quiz on Friday, I was 3rd in the class. BEFORE that, I was 6th in the class. See how thrilled I am?! I LIKE knowing my grade so I can fight to do more.

In English, it's kind of the same way, but it's just a grade and nothing specific about what you did wrong or what was done right. Just a grade. Sheesh. My average so far...C+. Which is pretty usual.

Ahhh...back to math, I'm gonna work on that more and try to get those damn lesson tests out of the way so I can take the REAL test ASAP! After that, it's ONE more REAL test and then it's time for me to take my final math exam. I really want to sling shot for taking my math final first and get it out of the way so I can really worry about everything else.

Ok...that's that. Just school shit.

100 Things About Me

2005-11-05T06:46:00.000-06:00

Obviously I'm nuts to even do this!
I love reading erotic stories and have pretty much out-read the entire library of their stock of romance stories (both good and bad).
I don't think of myself as a sexual person despite what I said in #2.
I sometimes don't like my body but...
...some days I love it.
I should work out more so I can appreciate my body no matter what day it is.
I haven't masturbated for 3 weeks and I like it that way.
I buy things to make chicken, rice and to have an apple for dessert...
...but I never eat them. *sigh*
I love pizza...too much.
I need to start taking calcium pills again so I don't have to crave pizza anymore to give me my fix for calcium.
I'm lactose intolerent.
It's different for me when I eat foods...
...either I get extremely sick or...
...I absolutely love it.
I don't think I've ever had an official boyfriend...
...the one's I've "had" never lasted more than 2 months.
Yep, I've had sex though.
Lost my virginity exactly a month before my 22nd birthday.
I was born on June 8th...
...it's also the day that Frank Lloyd Wright was born!
...Also is the day that Sir Mallory and Mr Irvine (folks who climbed Mt Everest) were declaired dead.
I have a fascination in Mountaineering and one day...
...I wanna climb Mt. Everest.
I want to visit Ireland and stay there for a month, just using a bicycle to get me around...
...then maybe move there! WOOOOOT!
I love to take pictures...
...Yet, I'm scared of being critiqued for my own work when I don't feel like it's good enough just yet.
That's why I'm gonna take art classes next summer and fall!
I'm scared that I still will not know what my career will be when I'm done with NCC...
...Yet, I'm having a blast, despite my stressful days/weeks.
I'm looking forward to transfering to the U of MN Twin Cities to complete my degree.
It'd take me 3 years to get there due to transfer credits and the extra credits for my associates degree.
I want more clothes and feel like I don't have enough.
I sometimes wear the same shirt twice in one week.
I wear the same jeans almost all week...
...other than my favorite white curdoroy pants that I wear to work...
...Fits over my ass quite nicely!
The last time I had my hair this long (brushing my shoulders) was when I was 11 or 12 years old.
After I had my cochlear implant surgery, we cut it short just because I wanted a "change".
Had SUPER short hair for about 5 years...as in hair that didn't grow past 3 inches. HAHAA!!
I'm LOVING my long hair!
I've wanted to grow it long for the past 4 years so my ears would be warm during the winter, hehe!!
I've lived in 4 different states in the last 11 years.
It could have been 5 if I moved with my mom to Maine but nooooo...
...I wanted my independence.
I've moved over 25 times in my life time.
Most of the moves were done in Minnesota.
When I'm depressed or lonely or missing something, I dream of my dad's family's farm.
I wanted to own it some day and turn it into a bed-and-breakfast.
Turned out that I cannot handle the phone-calls...
...eventhough I don't mind the cleaning up.
I like to follow but once in a while, I'll lead.
I haven't had a friendship that lasted more than 4 years.
I want some VERY close relationships...soon!
I'm scared of becoming a work-aholic like my father...
...but I love my job and I'm willing to help them in their time of need!
I wish I had a VW New Beetle...
...but I want my mom's Saab...MMMMM!!!
I've had 2 cars eversince I got my drivers licence the summer I turned 18 years old.
I got my lerners permit when I was living in Virginia when I was 15 years old after taking the knowledge test 3 times...
...But when I moved to North Carolina that summer, I had to take classes before I could get my lerners permit...
...THEN I had to take the knowledge test, 3 times! AY!
When I turned 18, mom finally dragged me to the DMV to take my drivers test...
...EASIEST thing I ever done in my life!
After that, the knowledge test was a "snap" for me!
I've had 6 different types of drivers licence, two of the were lerners permits.
3 weeks after passing my drivers test, I got pulled over and was given my first speeding ticket. 75 in a 55 mile zone, woopsie!
I love to speed.
I love to design purses...
...but haven't made any yet.
I need to save money for fabric and all the material I need in order to create what I wanted to create!
I LOVE being artistic...
...and cannot see myself not doing anything artistic.
I want to design my own tattoo design...
...but I'm nervous.
I want another one by the end of the month...
...or when I get to Ireland, WOOT!
I plan on going to Ireland next year...
...If all goes well!
I buy vintage rings from e-bay and never wear them...
...I didn't want someone else to buy it and melt it down for something else.
I know what my wedding will be like.
I know what my engagement ring will be like.
It will be an outdoor wedding...
...no shoes allowed!
Me in a strapless gown, that's why I'm growing my hair out...
...I want to put tiny flowers in my hair, hehe!
I want to make my wedding dress...
...Just like my mom did for hers!
Mom burned her wedding dress...
...so I never saw it, I don't remember it. *pouts*
But...my mom's mom, Grandma Lee, still has her wedding dress!
Grandma Lee was the beauty queen and was in a commercial for Kemps Dairy!
Kemps dairy is based in Rochester, MN...
...I lived there the longest out of all the states I've lived in.
My favorite one so far is the one I will be going to next year...
...Ireland!!!!
One more and I'm done!
I'm hungry.

***EDIT*** Add 101!! I dance to the washing machine. Yup yup.

HNT Number 13!

2005-11-03T05:00:00.000-06:00

"This is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way." -Doris Lessing

"Never seem more learned than the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden Do not pull it out to count the hours, but give the time when you are asked." -Lord Chesterfield

"If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. The free mind is not a barking dog, to be tethered on a ten-foot chain." -Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

Behold!

Surrounded by books, like usual. Learning is VERY precious. I love it eventhough I do hate it somedays. Eventually it will all be worth the chase!

Learning is POWER!!!!

Roselly's Randomness

It's done

Hmmmm *stretches and yawns*

My Christmas

I wanna know what YOU wanna know...

Answers to "I wanna know what YOU wanna know"

Things I did yesterday

Tiny Update

5 Bad Habits

Let the Gifting BEGIN!!!!

I'm sorry y'all!

Opened my e-mail and there was....

Uproariously!

*sighhhhhhh...floats*

Oh my GOD! Will someone SHUT me up please?!

Well...Wellll!!!!

Double Trouble!

I hate being idle

HOOOOOOLY FUCK!!

Random shit that I want to say

I should be a certified nut

HAHA!! Too good to pass on by!

Puzzlement

Why I did not post today...

I am so lazy

So many that could have been mine

*sniffles*

4 frigging 30 in the morning?!

Oh hum.

Ah Fuck, I'll be glad when this is over!

Excuse me while I scream for joy!

Uhh...which one is this?

More 25 things about me! (and some of course!)

OH fucktard!

Funny is hot

Pool Night!!

25 Random Things About Me (and some!)

Update of the day

Well FUCK!

I'm in pain.

I just want to sit down and cry.

about F-ING time!

Ah fuck, what is wrong with me?!

No HNT Today

Whine

HA, so weird!

Huh...wha.....?

Tag! Yer it!

Ah! That's it!

From now on I'll just do a carry out!

Why did I do this in the first place?!

Because y'all asked!!

The Smitten Kitten

Atleast these feet are not going shopping tomorrow!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Poll Results

I'm afraid...

I'm ditzy!

Speaks for itself, seriously!

Just horrid!

Frigging exhausted!

Sorry, no audio post tonight!

Ok ok!! ONE more...

YOW!

First Audio Post!!

Poll!!!

Secrets...

I think I've gone nuts...

Heavy Hearted

The Somethings

Not quite the "Terrible Twos"

Huh?

About time!

Open 'em, Shut 'em

"I will take any excuse, ANY excuse"

*sighs and bangs head*

Some scribblings

The kind that makes you scratch yer head

Soapbox Rant #1

HOLY CRAP!

Hmmmm stretches and yawns

sighhhhhhh...floats

sniffles

sighs and bangs head